EXPERT: ShelaDean

My life's passion was first expressed in a playful exchange between my husband and me one morning over coffee and cinnamon toast. Frustrated by Dale's persistent lack of timeliness, I wanted to make my point in a context that would be meaningful to him: Sex. I explained that foreplay is all day, every day, 24/7, and that being late was not effective foreplay. I suggested he accumulate Frequent Foreplay Miles to cash in when, despite his best intentions, he screwed up. He suggested I do the same. We laughed. But what began as a joke became our philosophy of marriage: Earn as many and lose as few Frequent Foreplay Miles as possible. Since that morning, eleven years ago, that philosophy has morphed into a fun and constructive way of keeping score (we all do it!) that helps couples keep the playfulness alive, develop the habit of candor, eliminate grudges and long-term resentment, embrace differences as ways to be a more responsive partner, and much more.

After 20+ years of counseling more than 2,000 couples as an estate and family attorney, I now devote my time to sharing the Frequent Foreplay Miles philosophy through my website, seminars, workshops, and one-on-one counseling. Watch for the book in 2009!

Curious? Check out www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com.

My goal: Inspire every couple to accumulate Frequent Foreplay Miles with the same enthusiasm as they collect frequent flier miles!

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