If you've ever been in a relationship or marriage where you live with an alcoholic, you know that denial, saying it isn't that bad, making excuses for bad behavior and anything else you can think of that will not have to make you face reality all becomes a part of your behavior. After living with my alcoholic husband for ten years, this book gave me the courage to love myself and care about myself enough to start thinking of ME. I left my husband and his problem and it was the best thing that ever happened to both of us. It has been very painful, but it has brought a lot of honesty and relief. He joined AA and is in recovery. I don't know if I would have ever had the nerve to take a step for myself without the honest and forthright information this book has to offer. I keep it by my bedside and reread it whenever I need a lift or reassurance. Thank you, Toby, for every chapter, especialy Chapter 33, "Don't Say You're Changing - Just Do It". I recommend this book to anyone in an alcoholic relationship. Like the book says, the decision to stay or not is yours and there are no guarantees either way, but loving yourself FIRST is the best thing you can do for yourself and the ones you love.