How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about It

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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about It by Patricia Love

Men are right. The “relationship talk” does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and
Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness:

Love is not about better communication.
It's about connection.

You'll never get a closer relationship
with your man by talking to him like you
talk to one of your girlfriends.

Male emotions are like women's sexuality:
you can't be too direct too quickly.

There are four ways to connect with a man:touch, activity, sex, routines.

Men want closer marriages just as much as women do,but not if they has to act like a woman.

Talking makes women move closer;
it makes men move away.

The secret of the silent male is this:
his wife supplies the meaning in his life.

The stunning truth about love is that talking doesn’t help.

Have you ever had this conversation with your spouse?

Wife: “Honey, we need to talk about us.”
Husband: “Do we have to?”

Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied this all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn’t bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart.

The reason for this is that underneath most couples’ fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman’s vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man’s subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away inresponse. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can’t happen through words.

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don’t require “trying to turn a man into a woman.” Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.

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Reviews of: How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about It

Review by:
lynnsmith's picture
Posted on October 23, 2008 9:33 AM PDT
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Who would of guessed that men were actually right about something. Just kidding. I've heard my husband say many times that he didn't want to talk. That talking did nothing but cause a fight. A fight we never would of gotten into if we hadn't of talked.
However I was raised that in order to have a healthy marriage you need to talk about things. If there is a problem you need to open up to your spouse and hatch things out.
The author of this book lays out a plan that seems pretty good. However lets be honest here about something. You have to talk to your spouse. I would not put this book in motion as being my only plan of attack towards improving a marriage. You can use some of her advice but you will also have to open your mouth and communicate. There is no way around that.
I could be all wrong though. Someone else might read this book, do all it says and not have to really talk about anything. However that is not me and my marriage.

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Posted on September 6, 2008 1:19 AM PDT
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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about It is a book with a lot of good practices, however as most know, coomunication is the key to a good marriage. Unless partners actually take the time and communicate issues in their marriage, there is no way to resolve the problem. This is the reason a lot of marriages fail because of lack of communication. The book discusses other ways to improve your marriage without talking about it but honestly you will have to talk even using their approach. It is a good read and may be helpful to others but for myself peronally, it is not a book I would recommend. Talking things out is important otherwise the problem will continue. True, men may not like to talk as much as women but if a woman would find a better way to talk effectively, I am sure a man will open up, at least mine does and we would not want a relationship where we didn't talk about our marriage. The book has a couple helpful points but they can be found in another marriage books that you would probably enjoy. Not worth buying a book that only 5-7 pages appeal to you.