How Can I Forgive You?

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How Can I Forgive You? by Janis Abrahms Spring

Janis Abrahms Spring's long–awaited second book expertly tackles the sensitive issue of forgiveness by giving real people a new model from which they can heal from interpersonal injuries, by debunking myths, and by controversially setting the record straight that forgiveness is not the only all–or–nothing sound response to injury.

The topic of forgiveness is fast becoming one of the key concepts in psychotherapy. With illuminating anecdotes and case material based on nearly 30 years of clinical experience, Janis Spring controversially reveals that we have more options than just forgiving or not forgiving. From forgotten birthdays to deliberate sexual offences, infidelity and disloyalty, How Can I Forgive You? takes a bold new position that frees us from the corrosive effects of hate and helps us to make peace with both the person who has hurt us and with ourselves. By providing concrete, step–by–step instructions for both the hurt party and the offender, Spring brings to light a new, empowering model that is bound to change forever the way we think about forgiveness, regardless of whether or not the offending party is willing to apologise.

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Posted on August 21, 2008 4:55 PM PDT
2 of 2 people found this review helpful:
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Thought Provoking Change to Forgiving
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I recently read this book to help me decide if I was ready to forgive my husband for his verbal abuse and manipulative ways. We recently separated and I was contemplating letting him come back into my life. I saw the title and thought it was calling out to me. Most traditional self-help books talk about the ability to forgive in order to move on. "How Can I Forgive You?" explains that forgiveness isn't always needed or warranted. It also goes into the different types of forgiveness, warranted and unwarranted. The majority of the book contains guidance for the victim seeking direction but does offer help towards the offender as well.

I would recommend this book to couples who maybe have faced recent deception. It is also recommended for dealing with past injuries that you were told to forgive at one point and time but haven't fully. More so I felt the book helped support what I already knew. Sometimes we just need someone else to remind us. As always, great read!