That it is so easy to become a codependent person is a fact well brought out in this exceptional book by Melody Beattie. In my case, abandoned by my biological father, abandoned for a time by my mother, and then emotionally abandoned by an alcoholic step-father, I learned the disease of trying to control others so that the abandonment would cease. But later on, as an adult, I inexplicably looked for these very same types of "unavailable" people, a sympton, as this wonderful book explains, of my continuing relapse into childhood misery, a painful situation but at least one that I was familiar with. But I didn't know that what I was doing was unhealthy. I thought it was normal.
Then one day, I came upon this book. Written in a style that is easily understood by even the most troubled reader, Melody explains first how it is that we become co-dependent, showing how alcoholism always plays a major role. Relating a number of stories which detail the experiences of others, she points out that even though the backgrounds of controlling people may be different, they all share one thing in common: codependency. She goes on to explain the characteristics of codependency, (you will no doubt find your symptoms described here) and then gives guidelines and methods known as un-dependency to begin the process of freeing oneself from this terrible disease. Lastly, she teaches the reader the art of self-acceptance, self-respect and healthy detachment. She even provides an all-inclusive twelve-step program that goes a long way to assist the reader with self-guidance and recovery. Certainly, this is a must-read for anyone who suspects that their need to control others arises from co-dependency. It has shown me a new way to live, and it will do the same for you. Acknowledging that you have a problem is the first step to recovery. Reading this book is the next logical one.