7 Reasons Women Love the Incredible Hulk

It's hard to imagine the Incredible Hulk as an object of feminine desire. He's a guy who tears his pants beyond repair several times a week, while we're hassled for simply leaving ours on the bathroom floor. Nevertheless, we can learn a lot about what women want via the Jolly Green Giant.

For starters, just before she orgasms, try shouting, "Hulk smash!"

I'm kidding, but there is something to be said for being primal during lovemaking. A recent Internet poll shows 80% of women believe the most important element for good lovemaking - ahead of love and respect - is "animal magnetism."

What does the Hulk have going for him? Pay attention:

1) Physique. The Hulk is a muscular, manly man, oozing testosterone, albeit green testosterone. Women like masculine strength no matter what they say about being "sensitive."

2) Man of Few Words. Shuddup! Women want you to listen to them, not interrupt when they're talking and talking and talking.

3) Man of Action. "Hulk smash," remember? The Hulk knows how to TCOB (take care of business)- especially when riled. Most women like a man who takes charge.

4) Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Who's stupid enough to tick off the Hulk when he's such a pussycat if treated well? You know what will happen, so be nice and play fair.

5) Beneath the brawn lie brains. Very big brains. He is a scientist, after all. Most women found the Professor way sexier than Gilligan. Think about it. And, think about this: Bruce Banner is sensitive; the Hulk is strong. Combine the two and you become a damn near irresistible package to the fairer sex.

With the new Incredible Hulk movie starring Edward Norton (hmm, Tyler Durden and now the Hulk) and Liv Tyler in theaters this week, there's no better time to "glean from green." Here are two more essential lessons from Stan Lee’s comic book creation.

6) Beauty and the Beast. There's a poignant moment in which Tyler's character sits beside the monstrous (and CGI) Hulk in the pouring rain - very "Beauty and the Beast." It reminds you of a slovenly friend who hasn't had a second date in years and barely any first dates. You think, "Gary’s bowling again tonight and here's the Hulk about to make out with Steve Tyler's daughter!" Why?

There are two categories of "beasts." The desirable beast has a degree of ferocity blended with a divine sense of right and wrong - a misunderstood outcast. The other "beast" is just an overweight slob with father issues and a neon Miller Lite sign hanging on the wall of his "living room."

When it comes to beauties and beasts, the fact that beauty can soothe the beast, can reach him and calm him, is mighty attractive. Loosely translated: Chicks dig being able to do that.

7) Can do. In a classic Marvel Comics issue, the Hulk goes up against the Mighty Thor. Thor is awestruck when in the midst of the battle; the Hulk picks up Thor's hammer. You see, no one else has ever been able to lift the Norse god's weapon.

The Hulk's inability to comprehend such a thing, to not take no for an answer and do what he's been told he cannot do is yet another amazingly attractive quality. The Hulk has an indefatigable attitude. He "can do" and does.

Of course, these two traits get old fairly soon—say, two months into married life—but 'til then, she'll think you're incredible. 'Nuff said.