Who needs simplicity? Here are the top three ways to complicate your life:

1. Get married, preferably to someone you have little in common with, except that your personalities are so similar people swear you are siblings. If you are already married, or have found your true soul mate, you can complicate by adding an affair to your already full schedule. The thorniest extramarital affairs occur with someone you work with

2. Have a kid. For optimum complication factor, said child should not be the product of a loving or committed relationship. Make sure you involve this child in every possible extra-curricular activity, but other than that pay him or her no attention – until it’s time for bail money.

3. Start your own business. This ought to be something you have absolutely no experience in. For optimum mess, get yourself a partner who has a totally different vision than you do, wretched credit, a teeny tiny drug problem, and four ex-wives.