About PeopleJam | Ad Network | Company Blog | Interested in joining PeopleJam as a Business Partner?
Copyright 2008 PeopleJam, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy | Terms of use | Feedback
BlogBLOG DETAIL
Too Close to Home
It happens everyday. You hear it in the news: Good people, good kids whose lives have been cut short due to unfathomable violence. You watch the news and you sympathize with the grieving families for a little while, but then you forget all about it, life goes on, strangely enough. You thank God or whatever it is that you believe in that it's not you, that it's not your family member or loved one that died a violent death. This time it's a loved one. This time, miraculously, the victim narrowly survives. My twenty-year-old brother is recovering after being stabbed by a 19-year old punk three days ago. His liver was lacerated. He nearly bled to death and required a blood transfusion. The story made the paper and the local news stations in upstate New York. It happened during the early morning of Feb 1st. The details are sketchy, I probably shouldn't discuss them anyway. My little brother is the quiet, reserved type. He doesn't start fights and unlike most young people, he's never been compelled to prove himself by foolish means. He's known as a mediator; he's sensitive and unassuming, keenly perceptive and thoughtful, he's wise and full of integrity, he's alive!
Faye, my dear 93-year-old-friend, told me that the greatest pain is caused by a sense of loss. She added that my baby brother lost his innocence that night and that the emotional scars will run deeper than the knife that cut him and the surgery that managed to saved him. I'm so very grateful that he's alive, but I can't help thinking of the pain he felt, the fear he felt, the moment he realized that his life was on the line, and the instincts that fought for life to continue. Gun control vs. gun rights? It's not about guns, it's about people. It's about America having the highest rate of random violence. It's about children killing children. Why does this happen? The still, soft voice is saying, "love." Be grateful for each painful opportunity to love beyond your capacity. I think of that kid who nearly took my brother's life and I feel like a fraud for wanting him to suffer. Didn't I once say that the people who cause you the greatest pain are your greatest spiritual teachers? Don't I believe in forgiveness? All that flower-power shit means nothing when death and violence hit home. Yes, I still have much to learn... gotta check flights for some quality time.
Add To:
If you enjoyed this article, subscribe to our newsletter and we'll keep you updated with fresh new content.
Subscribe to Comments
Subscribe to Comments
comments
Amanda,
My heart goes out to you and your family.
I am glad that your brother is physically well and I applaud you for recognizing the psychological needs that still require some mending. It sounds to me like you really are struggling to stretch your heart around this situation. It can be hard to forgive when we have been hurt. As an older sister, you probably feel protective of your little bro. These things are not easy to trancend. One thing that may help you to find peace is instead of trying to let go, spread love to whoever did this to your brother. Giving Love Fills your heart with Love and doesn't deplete your energy or require you to wrestle with judgements or hatred.
keep the faith, i know ya got it in ya!
beth |community coordinator | life coach |seeker of knowledge|
Amanda,
I hope that your brother has continued to heal. I recognize that I have a clarity that can only come when you are not the one affected by such ugliness, but I offer it in hopes that you will be kind to yourself as you try to make peace in your heart. I honor your brother for accepting this role. You are correct, good hearted people make sacrifices everyday so that we can all choose who it is we want to be. Without the contrast of pain how can each of us choose who we want to be. It is a shame that for some of us it takes seeing it repeatedly or even up close before we make a commitment to choosing love. So I'm glad your brother survived, and I am eternally grateful that he has given all of us one more opportunity to choose who we want to be, the peacemaker or the villan, the forgiver or the accusor. . . a lover or a hater.
Peace and Light,
Teri Johnson
Spiritual Life Coach and Intuitive
Guiding You Into Authenticity with Grace
www.flowinharmony.com
Your words mean more than I can express. I was depressed for a while, but as my brother got better, so did I. It makes forgiveness much easier when the victim isn't in a casket. However, I'm not thinking about forgiveness just yet, I'll deal with it later because I'm not so sure it's a choice, Teri. I think that the passing of time has a lot to do with it as well. Still, theres no gut-wrenching anger and more importantly, my brother isn't consumed by rage either. I really do admire him and I've called him my hero--he wants to be a brain surgeon, what a loss it could've been! I've urged him to seek therapy during his lengthy break from school and he's agreed after initially saying that he didn't need it. That brings me the most comfort as do your much appreciated words. Now, if I can only convince him to complete his last two years in sunny California, by the beach. I think a change of scenery would do him good and yes Beth, I'm super-protective of both my younger brothers. The strangest part is that I used to have this recurring nightmare that one of them got killed by a random degenerate while they were out at night and on their way home. I even got my poor mom overly concerned as I would wake up crying, calling everyone, and urging my two brothers to be extra careful, not to talk to strangers, to meditate, each morning, on a protective white light surrounding them before they left their dorms etc., etc. I'm sure that they both assumed I was tripping-out here in la-la land, but I know that they actually did do the meditations for a while simply to appease me, especially the youngest one who was recently released from the hospital. I pray that this was the nightmare that I feared and that lightning doesn't strike the same place twice, not in the same lifetime at least. Thanks again!