The lioness stalks her prey quietly. The gazelle has not been alerted to her presence just yet. She has taken all the proper precautions by approaching downwind, blending with the tall savannah grass. The gazelle takes a few steps closer and she pounces. The poor gazelle never had a chance!

This is obviously a dramatization depicting the over eager, marriage hungry modern woman, but there is humor in such a jester-like analogy. In fact, men often equate similar Discovery channel story lines to their own romantic interludes of the girl that tried just a little too hard to get the bling bling.

To avoid this potential powder keg, a guy must be able to identify the warning signs. Some men are self-admitted idiots, so we often need things spelled out in simple, easy-to-use directions. I say “easy-to-use” because, well, most men hate directions and we're hell-bent on doing it our own way.

Warning Signs

1. Dates with her are implied. They are no longer a planned event.
2. You notice wedding magazines along side your Sports Illustrated collection.
3. Her friends begin dropping hints about the big day coinciding with their vacation plans.
4. She frequently reminds you of her ring size.
5. She sighs when she takes a birth control pill.

If you have noticed any of these signs, you could be experiencing feminine pre-marital anxiety issues. I know this sounds like a pharmaceutical drug commercial and, no, it’s not a legitimate disease and their isn't a pill for it. Nor should you be complaining about these and other warning signs if you have been stringing this girl along for 3 years (or longer) telling her you can't afford a ring.

Now that we have a diagnosis, what shall we do to solve this little problem? Sure, you could just break down and marry her if you like. Chances are, the topic has been floating around in your mind anyway if you have been dating her for a significant amount of time, but what are you supposed to do if you do not want to marry this girl? How to escape?

If you fall under the devious or cowardly group, the old “Dear John” approach could work. Yet there is nothing classy and respectable about breaking it off with her over email or worse yet, a text message. If this woman put up with your antics for several years waiting for you, don't even think about this approach. This violates basic man law principles, so grow a pair and take care of business like a man.

If you are the problem solving type and feel something is wrong, but correctable, have a sit down conversation about the problem(s) you might be experiencing. Ladies love a guy who can at least vocalize his issues, so sometimes taking your foot out of your mouth long enough to say something credible makes a world of difference.

If you are a traditional kind of guy, go with the classic break up line, “I'm just not ready for that level of commitment.” This will obviously cause some grief, and possible destruction of property, but it is an acceptable escape mechanism because it is honest and forthright. She may hate you for the rejection, but she will hopefully respect you for being honest with her.

Then again, if she is a total wacko who wants to marry you after the first date and talks about naming your first three kids after your grandparents, it’s definitely time to ask for the check. Don't worry about the pleasantries, just hit the door and don't look back. Having a female stalker is not as glamorous as you may think, so make sure she doesn't follow you home!

Bottom line, marriage is a sacred concept as well as a legal contract. When you sign on the dotted line, do it right and do it once. If you feel you're not ready, then chances are you probably aren't.

No need to lose half your stuff right?