Who hasn't remained in a bad or go nowhere relationship longer than they should have? We've all done it against our better judgment, whether we want to admit it or not.
LOVE. It's a risky investment. Many stay in go nowhere, dead end relationships even when their personal dissatisfaction is so palpable it fills a room. Why?
In many cases, relationships are a matter of “the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.” We all make choices about how much we can deal with and what we can tolerate. When I was compromised in one of these relationships, I thought he was a better option than having to meet a new, possibly even more damaged man, and/or being alone again.
I wanted companionship beyond my dog at the time. I realize now that a psychologically healthy dog with a bladder control problem is preferable to a crazy, emotionally abusive man any day.
Another reason I didn't easily let go of that horrible relationship was due to the time and energy I expended into it. Who wants to admit and resign themselves to the fact they've spent months and/or possibly YEARS in relationships (marriages or "commitments") they've, for whatever reason- emotional, psychological health or "it's just over"- need to END? In fact, the longer you stick with it, the harder it is to walk away.
In some ways, bad relationships are like compulsive gambling; the more money you lose, the more you're convinced you're about to hit the big pay off. It's maddening. It was like I'd invested my life savings into a risky stock that bottomed out.
When you invest money (or your heart), hopes are very high. The next day, your hopes are as worthless as a crumpled, day old newspaper blowing down a dark, lonely street. You're bereft and numb, wondering, "What was the point?"
It was difficult to admit I'd made such a gross error in judgment. I should've cut my losses a lot sooner, but even so; it's never too late to let go of misery or resignation and embrace change.
I was embarrassed. I let myself be taken in by a man who, in retrospect, was a bad choice. I didn't just have egg on my face, the henhouse exploded. It was difficult to admit that after all my dating, that train wreck was all I had to show for it.
Ultimately, I learned important lessons from this experience. They were painful lessons, but if I hadn't learned them, I'd have set the same traps for myself over and over again. We're presented with the same life lessons, until we finally "get it." Then we're faced with new lessons, and so goes the cycle of life. Everything happens for a reason.