This is a classic book on codependency which has withstood the test of time and is as relevant today as when I first read it back in the early 1990s. At the time, I was going through a painful divorce, and my soon-to-be ex-husband kept labeling me as "codependent." Not really knowing what that term meant, I picked up the book and read it cover to cover. I learned so much about my dysfunctional family background from reading Ms. Beattie's book and realized that my soon-to-be ex-husband was right. Unfortunately, reading the book did not help save my marriage, but it made be a better and stronger person.

"Codependent No More" has an honored place on my bookshelf, since so much of what Ms. Beattie writes needs to be reinforced from time to time in my own life. If you're someone who gets pleasure and personal affirmation by doing for and protecting other people, you may be a codependent. This book explains how to overcome those "need to control" issues in your life and let yourself live. This book really saved my life from further destruction. Highly, highly recommended.

Growing up in a small town it was easy to see how many high schoolers my age really found their own wealth in who they were dating at the time. I think this book is especially relevant for women (because it was written from a woman's point of view) but also women seem to invest more of themselves into relationships and when they end, it can be devastating. (Same goes for men, but Melody is speaking to women). I think its great to realize that you can't control who you love but if you are a great strong man/woman independent of someone else, #1 others are attracted to you, and #2 you are more stable when and if someone did leave you because you are more grounded in who you are and find your identity in that, not the other person.

This was the very first self-help book I'd ever read and it was so right on time. I knew the relationship I was in wasn't a healthy one, but couldn't quite put my finger on what was wrong. A friend had blurted something about my co-dependency and I had no idea what she was talking about until I bought this book at a yard sale. For the first time, I realized that for most of my life I was somebody's caretaker and how unhealthy that was for me. I often say this book rescued me and sent me on a path of self discovery and really living for me. I recommend this book to anyone who feels like a victim of an alcoholic or other abusive relationship. It's a real eye opener.

The author explores her own life, taking from it examples of her own codependency. When you read this book, it is very easy to see commonalities with your own life. Many people don't realize that they are being codependent and controlling. This book is a wake-up call to recognizing your own behaviors, and it also offers excellent advice on how to incite change in your life. Pair this book with any of the author's other books and you'll be on your way to conquering codependency.

That it is so easy to become a codependent person is a fact well brought out in this exceptional book by Melody Beattie. In my case, abandoned by my biological father, abandoned for a time by my mother, and then emotionally abandoned by an alcoholic step-father, I learned the disease of trying to control others so that the abandonment would cease. But later on, as an adult, I inexplicably looked for these very same types of "unavailable" people, a sympton, as this wonderful book explains, of my continuing relapse into childhood misery, a painful situation but at least one that I was familiar with. But I didn't know that what I was doing was unhealthy. I thought it was normal.
Then one day, I came upon this book. Written in a style that is easily understood by even the most troubled reader, Melody explains first how it is that we become co-dependent, showing how alcoholism always plays a major role. Relating a number of stories which detail the experiences of others, she points out that even though the backgrounds of controlling people may be different, they all share one thing in common: codependency. She goes on to explain the characteristics of codependency, (you will no doubt find your symptoms described here) and then gives guidelines and methods known as un-dependency to begin the process of freeing oneself from this terrible disease. Lastly, she teaches the reader the art of self-acceptance, self-respect and healthy detachment. She even provides an all-inclusive twelve-step program that goes a long way to assist the reader with self-guidance and recovery. Certainly, this is a must-read for anyone who suspects that their need to control others arises from co-dependency. It has shown me a new way to live, and it will do the same for you. Acknowledging that you have a problem is the first step to recovery. Reading this book is the next logical one.

I've always felt like I was overly codependent on certain people in my life, people even I did not expect. I was in Barnes & Noble looking for a book just to give me more information on the types of personalities dealing with this and I came across Ms. Beattie's book. This book is truly an eye-opener and I would reccomend it to anyone. Not just people dealing with this particular issue, but those who may know someone they feel is codependent. It helped me to much better understand actions, thoughts, and feelings that are abnormal for most. The only thing that turned me off a bit was the repetition and sometimes how she drags on about a particular subject, then other times she doesn't give a satisfying amount of information. It's a very small flaw in this amazing book. A book rarely changes my thinking enough to help me realize when my behavior contributes to an issue I have, but it's helped me take charge and change. I would like to see a follow-up book as I feel not enough was covered in this one.

I had always had healthy relationships until that ONE GUY came along and took something from me ... an innocence, a happiness of sorts. It was after I broke up with him that I realized we were both codependent. His problems were somehow always my problems and my happiness depending on what mood he was in. This book really opened my eyes into what that meant and how I could change my way of thinking. I have carefully reintroduced myself into the world of dating, being careful to remember what this book said so I didn't fall into that unhealthy pattern again. I enjoyed the tests you can give yourself (I still sometimes do them) and the exercises in order to gain freedom from this mental state. I recommend it to everyone.

This books has helped me in ways I probably can't even begin to fathom. I first picked it up reluctantly and before the term 'codependent' was in my vocabulary. I had never considered codependency and was at a place in my life where I thought most of my codependent behaviors were my doing the 'right' thing.

Within the first third of the book is a checklist of behaviors divided up by types of behaviors. I have gone through that checklist 8 different times in my life and marked my behaviors with varying degrees of intensity. After reading more about the behaviors, though, and after some intense soul-searching on my part, I'm excited to go through that list now and check off far fewer behaviors.

This book is the perfect insight for anyone who has been told once to look at codependency and also for anyone who's been working on moving past codependency to healthy relationships with others. I absolutely recommend it.

Whew boy did I need this book, through out my life I have always been a co dependent, yes its true after reading this book I believe I was even doing this as a child, being a kid of a drug addict father and a mother whom worked worked and worked I believe that's where I began my co dependency, I was always worried about my father, worried if he was okay, worried if he was in jail, so growing up as you can see I was always concerned with others, once I became old enough to become involved in a relationship the same things took place I was always so worried about my drug addict boyfriend I didn't have time to care about myself even through the physical and mental abuse, during my 2 unhealthy relationship is when I read this book, after 7 years of more abuse at the hands of my second boyfriend I finally decided I needed to change me because I couldn't change him, this is exactly what this book talks about, making changes within yourself learning that you deserve the best in life and never settle for less, I look back and wish I would have read this book years earlier If so maybe I wouldn't have wasted so many years being abused, however today I must say I have taken the advice of this book, I live for respect, honesty, love and trust, as well as I know how to give in return without be taking advantage of, I am now married to a wonderful man who does all of the above and I honestly believe its because I know I deserve it and will never settle for nothing less than respect love and honesty.

I read this book years ago and it changed my life. I had never heard the word 'co-dependant' before and didn't know what it meant. This book helped me to recognize things I was doing unconciously that sabatoged my relationships with other people, with money, with myself.

It gave me the tools I needed to recognize and pull myself out of an emotionally abusive relationship and put me on a path to sanity and well being.

You may think that co-dependant people are only people who come from abusive or alcoholic homes, but this is not true. While alocholism and overtly abusive family life are among the top causes of co-dependancy, there are many others, including perfectionism [if you can't do it right, don't do it at all], chronic procrastination, unrecognized, misdiagnosed or mistreated mental health problems, or any form of additictive behavior. So you may be more co-dependant than you think.

If you are having a lot of problems within your relationships then you should give this book a read; it is sure to help you find answers to the problem.

A family member had bought my husband and I this book about 6 months ago. Obviously she recognized the symptoms that we both were manifesting about being codependent. I was very skeptical at first, not thinking that it was applicable to either myself or my husband and figured after 10 years of marriage, most people were codependent on a level.

Reading this book opened both of our eyes to what we were doing, had been doing and needed to stop doing. Each of us recognized behaviors that we displayed, and behaviors of codependency our children were starting to display.

This was a comprehensive guide on the road to recovery for my entire family! I would recommend this highly to anyone that has been in or come from any abusive relationship, because there will be something in it that is applicable to their situation. The best way to get started is to read this book!

My first book about codependence and it has set me free. Codependent No More is easy to read with activities and inspiration in every chapter. If you are the ultimate, “fixer” of any relationship, so much that you become obsessed, then this book is for you. This is the first book to read if you have ever been referred to as an, “enabler”. Codependent No More is helpful for those in relationships with alcoholics, gamblers, overeaters, rebellious teens, addicts, and the list goes on. This book gives detailed lists to help identify codependent behaviors, thoughts, and emotions. Codependent No More offers realistic options and advice to help stop this controlling behavior and live a freer life. Self-care is priority and this book teaches steps that must be taken to let go and take care of you. Codependent No More uses the twelve-step program for the recovery and healing process that puts God as central. This book puts perspective on self-care and tough love.