Coping with Toxic Managers, Subordinates ... and Other Difficult People: Using Emotional Intelligence to Survive and Prosper
Drawing on his extensive experience as both a mental health professional and organizational consultant to Fortune 500 firms and large law firms, Dr. Lubit offers concrete advice as well as a way to better understand with whom you are dealing.
The basic premise of the book is that the better you understand how specific types of toxic managers view the world and what motivates them, the better you will be able to influence them to behave in ways that enable you to do your work and survive your hours at work. To borrow a phrase, this is not pop psych advice, it is sophisticated advice served quickly and understandably.
Handling narcissistic managers. What to do when your manager thinks she's the center of the universe. What senior management can do to recognize narcissistic managers early in their careers.
Dealing with unethical managers. How subordinates can avoid becoming accomplices and how senior management can decide whether to reform or fire them.
Handling rigid managers. Understanding the different factors that can lie underneath rigid behavior and how to cope with each of them.
Dealing with aggressive managers. Practical techniques for handling a variety of aggressive behaviors: when to push back, when to submit, and when to head for the hills.
The impaired manager. Coping with anxious, depressed, obsessive, bipolar, and chemically dependent managers. Appreciating when one of these underlies aggressive, rigid, or narcissistic behavior, and what to do.
Using emotional intelligence to develop your career and your organization. How organizations can recognize toxic managers early and decide whether to attempt to reform them or simply fire them. How to create an organization that limits toxic behavior. A guide for improving your ability to cope with the stress of dealing with toxic managers.
Reviews of: Coping with Toxic Managers, Subordinates ... and Other Difficult...
I found this book in my family's library and decided to take a look since my job currently involves one really passive aggressive manager and one really emotional, over the top manager. I've always been one to "keep the peace" but this book did point out some circumstances when I should fight back. It's a great tool for people such as myself who tend to be push-overs, not because we want to but because we don't know how to otherwise react. I found some strength within the pages of this book and hope to re-read in in the future as I climb the job ladder.
This is an excellent book which has forced me to rethink my approach to management. I am a project manager for a big financial company and hence keep a floating team of 15-20 people with me. The nature of my work makes it difficult to keep the same team as the resources keep changing and so does the need of one project to another. I was hence surprised when I heard one of my project member saying "'A' should reach that book about toxic managers".
Hmm.. interesting.. so I went ahead and got this book. Turns out that the person was right. I was going too far in my micro-management to make sure that things were always on schedule that it was almost insulting to some of my project team to think that I did not trust them to be professional on their own.
A good thing that I read this book as I now give more leeway to my team (though not full freedom :-> I am still accountable right !).. Try this.. a must read for managers at all levels.
I got this book because I have gone through some toxic managers both above me and below me, and I wanted to see what he defined as "toxic" to make sure I wasn't one to others. Turns out I was in some ways! By being a work-a-holic and being demanding I realized through Toxic Managers that I am causing undue harm to my work force because they feel whatever stress I am going through which keeps them from performing at their peak. I also stopped being a micromanager after reading this book. When people feel like their boss actually thinks they can accomplish they job they have been given, the are 93% more likely to do a better job if they aren't micromanaged, there needs to be checks and balances of course, but micromanagement handicaps. Really good self reflection book that helps boost your employees morale as well as production. WELL done.
There is nothing worse than feeling overwhelmed due to someone who is far more powerful, asserting that fact on a consistent basis. I have found that holding in my feelings to keep my check, friends, family, etc. to be quite daunting and tiring to my somewhat fragile peace of mind. It is unnecessary to state that upon finding a seemingly helpful book surrounding the topic of toxic managers I immediately purchased the weapon of my tormentors undoing. I have been under the hand of a toxic employer and vowed to never again, if possible, stay in that sort of situation. Nevertheless, I see people I know everyday going through uncomfortable situation at work and it all seems pointless. Coping with Toxic Managers, Subordinates ... and Other Difficult People is a definitive lesson in how to not only cope, but also derail the toxic energies of bosses, friends, and any other forms of power hoards that threaten to shake up your otherwise wonderful world. There are great techniques to handle others in a respectful but firm manner to both stop and completely avoid people from spilling their toxins on you. In addition, as the book will tell you, if none of the strategies work get out while you still have some self-esteem.