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You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation
Source: Deborah Tannen
MSRP: $14.95 Average Cost: $3.50
Deborah Tannen's #1 New York Times bestseller You Just Don’t Understand revolutionized communication between women and men.
Now, in her most provocative and engaging book to date, she takes on what is potentially the most fraught and passionate connection of women’s lives: the mother-daughter relationship.
It was Tannen who first showed us that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language–but still often misunderstand each other, as they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and independence. Both mothers and daughters want to be seen for who they are, but tend to see the other as falling short of who she should be. Each overestimates the other’s power and underestimates her own.
Why do daughters complain that their mothers always criticize, while mothers feel hurt that their daughters shut them out? Why do mothers and daughters critique each other on the Big Three–hair, clothes, and weight–while longing for approval and understanding? And why do they scrutinize each other for reflections of themselves?
Deborah Tannen answers these and many other questions as she explains why a remark that would be harmless coming from anyone else can cause an explosion when it comes from your mother or your daughter. She examines every aspect of this complex dynamic, from the dark side that can shadow a woman throughout her life, to the new technologies like e-mail and instant messaging that are transforming mother-daughter communication. Most important, she helps mothers and daughters understand each other, the key to improving their relationship.
With groundbreaking insights,pitch-perfect dialogues, and deeply moving memories of her own mother, Tannen untangles the knots daughters and mothers can get tied up in. Readers will appreciate Tannen’s humor as they see themselves on every page and come away with real hope for breaking down barriers and opening new lines of communication. Eye-opening and heartfelt, You’re Wearing That? illuminates and enriches one of the most important relationships in our lives.
Reviews of: You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters...
Review by:
Posted on November 3, 2008 4:12 PM PST
2 of 2 people found this review helpful:
Price Paid: $0.00
Recommends this product or service? Yes.
Very practical and helpful
This book is for mothers and daughters everywhere! I found it to be full of insight for me as both a mother and a daughter. It's true that there seems to be more power in a comment made by a mother to her daughter, than almost any other. I can remember something my mother said to someone else, about me, almost 30 years ago! I would bet she has no recollection of the off-hand comment that used to haunt me! This book is good reading for mothers and daughters, and those who love them. It's helpful for clarifying the communication patterns we have and how to fine-tune them.
This book has stories to make you laugh, cry and see your mother or daughter in a new way.
Review by:
Posted on November 1, 2008 12:37 PM PDT
1 of 1 people found this review helpful:
Price Paid: $10.50
Recommends this product or service? Yes.
It's like someone lived with me growing up!
This book is amazing. I got barely into chapter 3 and I was on the phone with my mother going MOM Oh my God you have GOT to read this when I'm done! The book is great, and not preachy like some relationship self help books. It's like the author has a crystal ball to see into the mother/daughter dynamic and tell you what could work better. It's not only insightful (and sometimes hilarious!) but it offers solid, deep instruction on how to keep strong relationship ties between mother and daughter, without avoiding the deeper discussions. I think everyone should read this, teenage girls especially! The best piece of advice that everyone should know about (not just mothers and daughters) is when it's a sensitive issue where feelings could get hurt, communicate via written text, because it's less likely to become painful and emotional. Isn't that a great idea!?
Review by:
Posted on August 23, 2008 5:16 AM PDT
1 of 1 people found this review helpful:
Price Paid: $0.00
Recommends this product or service? Yes.
This Book Will Change How You View Communication
My wife has major communication issues with her mother. After many fights and miscommunications between the two of them, I suggested that my wife find a self-help book to try and end, or at least understand, why they were always offending each other. At the library, we found this book. I think it saved my wife's relationship with her mother and my sanity. We read the book together, which enabled us to discuss specific issues my wife has had with her mother and even issues I have had with her mother and my own mother. The book gives examples of actual conversations between mothers and daughters and even shows the difference between how mothers/fathers interact with their daughters/sons differently. I would recommend this book to any daughter or mother who is at a loss as to why what they say is always taken to wrong way. I would also recommend it for sons/son-in-laws like me, who want to help their wives and themselves. Great book!
