This book gets right down to the root of personal problems. It was difficult to read because so many things hit home for me. Bradshaw does look at many different human problems from failure to abuse. He gives examples of people he has worked with over the years and by doing so helps the reader identify with the guilt and shame attached to childhood and adult situations. I would highly recommend this book if you are an adult survivor of abuse, an adult child of an alcoholic or drug addicted parent, or a person who has a problem with addiction.

I have battled depression for most of my adult life. I found John Bradshaw’s book to be a great help. He stresses that we must learn to love ourselves and to stop seeking perfection in ourselves and others. I thought that was a very good message. So many of us are looking for perfection and it doesn’t exist in human beings! He makes us realize that there is no one cure for everyone. He offers many solutions in the second part of his book. I saw myself in many of the words in this book. I like his take on the 12 Step Programs. I have long questioned their efficacy. If you have had problems with depression, guilt, shame, addiction or abuse this book will be of value to you. I definitely recommend this book.

Actually, I have read most, if not all, of John Bradshaw's books, and would highly recommend all of them for anyone struggling with the remnants of a dysfunctional childhood. These books were highly recommended by my counselor during my recovery for co-dependency.

In this particular book, he discusses growing up in a dysfunctional family system, whether it be an alcoholic parent, a drug addicted parent, growing up in a highly controlled environment, being abused as a child, etc., and talks about the difference between "healthy" shame versus "toxic" shame and how the latter is more prevalent in dysfunctional households. It gives exercises and direction on how to recognize your toxic shame, thus giving you the opportunity to shed it.

It is said that knowledge is power, and all of John Bradshaw's books, actually, give you that knowledge. Now, as a parent myself, I feel that I would have never done as good of a job of parenting as I have without the knowledge that John Bradshaw's books have given me. I'm not saying I'm perfect ... I'm still slightly dysfunctional. However, from John Bradshaw, I've learned to recognize my dysfunctional behavior and try not to bind my own children with toxic shame. Because those of us who grew up in dysfunctional family systems do not have a "functional" role model, we need this information ... not only for our own personal well-being and validation, but also to recognize our own unhealthy ways of parenting and living in general.

Again ... very, very highly recommended!