Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts
Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell?
Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception—how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it.
Reviews of: Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish...
I'm sure that some people find MISTAKES WERE MADE (BUT NOT BY ME) to be an enlightening read. And, hey, maybe a few years ago, I would have found the same thing. But now? Not so much.
Honestly, you can basically sum up the entire book by remembering these two things:
1) We make bad decisions because they'll make us feel good in the short term
2) We do bad things (such as lie) because we want to feel good
That's it. I guess that if you need to hear those two things in more words, then you should read MISTAKES WERE MADE (BUT NOT BY ME). Me? I already knew that and didn't need a three dollar book to tell me them.
I picked up this book when I started to realize that I was starting to fall apart. Since I was starting to crumble, so was my relationship with my girlfriend. I was just a very anger person and I didn't like it. First off this book helped me understand why I do certain things. Why I lie, why I like to argue. Everything I use to say, I would state as if I was only right. The book does start off a bit slow and it's hard to keep reading but it picks up. It's hard to face something that you know is wrong. This book is a pick me up type book and it's great for those who are trying to better themselves and move on from a negative light into a positive. I've come to better some of my habits from this book and while I am not completely over my old habits, this book has helped me half way. My relationship also started to get better and in fact my girlfriend is currently reading this to help her with some of her habits.
I suggest buying this book. It is in someways a better way of understanding you and habits around you than listening to someone preach to you.
Carol Tavris & Elliot Aronson offer a wonderful read with the novel Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts. This novel offers you a laundry list of excuses for actions that we feel that we must justify. Each person has a type of bad habit that they support and this novel examines the who, what, and why of each mistake. Each page offers wonderful perspective and fantastic insight into the mistakes that are performed everyday.
I found it to also be a great novel to pass on to the person in your life who feels that any comment that is stated is fact. The person who hurts everyone's feelings because they don't know how to " phrase " general statements in a non abrasive manner. An all around great novel. Please take the time to read this novel.
I purchased this book not to long ago when I realized my husband and I were unable to meet eye to eye on a certain subject which happened to be driving me crazy being I was positive I was right, I also needed the help in understanding if it was I or my husband making the mistakes. Well this book helped me in understanding my mistakes, not so much his but by me understanding my everday mistakes I was able to stop are disagreements from turning into an all out ugly debate. I don't know if were ever going to see eye to eye on this specific subject but I do know how to understand me a bit more, I'm still trying to get my hubby to read this book. Hopefully someday he will. If not him, I would recommend this book to everyone and anyone being we all make mistakes.
1 word... FASCINATING. I think that everyone reading this book will get a gentle guilt free nudge that you've been in the same situation. Why do we make excuses for ourselves while making fun of others failing at the same exact thing? Some pretty interesting theories pop up such as (bad example, so forgive me) if you pick your nose, its something out of necessity, but if you see someone else pick their nose, you watch them like a hawk until they go to the bathroom to wash their hands! Its a matter of someone else's germs are more lethal than yours. Its also an admission of embarrassment when you see someone else picking their nose because you are embarrassed for them, and to disassociate yourself with them, you laugh in order to stay as far back as possible. Great read, really makes you think and change your ways!
My wife recommended this book for me and it makes a lot of sense. It will make you look things in a different way and maybe even change your righteous attitude about some situations.