Discussion: i need help and advice

paupau's picture
Started by: paupau on May 21, 2012 7:56 AM PDT
Topic: Love

I feel lost and alone. i have been in a long distance relationship with a guy, we planned that i will come over here to live with him anD finally be together. I finished my degree and got internship in NYC for a month, was planning to find a job after that. So 2 days before my arrival here he said that our relationship shouldnt be a first thing for me to come here, that he is lost and his feelings are not that strong anymore so he is not sure if we could live together.. I thought it will change once we see each other so I decided to give it a chance..He is cold, and not the same person anymore, i think he might have someone and he said he wants me to move out because he needs his own space;( i dont know anyone in the city, i dont have much money, i feel so alone and dont know what to do;(

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blazter's picture

hi, for me, first of all distance relationship are easy but when you are face to face things change. It's always more difficult to be with the person in real life than with a thousand miles distance on the phone, don't forget about that. Than you should talk with him about the fact that he might have someone and if it's that, try to move on, you're in a huge city go try to find a job, you will certainly make some friends or maybe more if you'r lucky ;)

Hoping that i have help a little.
Blazter.


Superchic's picture

Local and long distance relationship are all the same. The beginning stages of a "getting to know you" relationship are awesome! Every minute of the day you want to hear from this person, share your day with them, etc...etc...

Let's admit it, it's beautiful! When you begin to see these signs head on, the most common "I need space, I'm not sure this is what I want, we should give this more time are the signs of cold feet. Someone who is not ready for commitment. By that time feelings have developed and for the most part us as female always seem to be needy... For the most part I said. So we begin to question ourselves, "are we worth it, am I not to good, is there something I'm lacking in, and so the thoughts lingure. But reality here is, it's best to walk away and not dig in deeper.

If he /she is truly interested in you, they shouldn't be getting bored or cold feet that quickly. I'd say be brave and walk away. If he / she really desires to be with you then let them come back with an explanation ( a good on at that ) as of why they needed that space. Then only then can you begin to openly communicate and ask all the questions you have had all along. It's easy to fall in love, it's harder to walk away... But at then end of the road you'll understand that you made a healthy choice.

I walked away from my 11 yrs of marriage and ran right into the hands of a married man, who has been a part of my life ( work related ) for 7 yrs now. He knew exactly What to say and do because he evaluated me way to long before I could ever say no. He knew everything about me and showered me with what I thought was love. I'm still in it but coming out strong, because I've learned something, and that is if I love myself enough, more than allowing him to take a part in my life then I must understand that the best thing to do is walk away and find someone who is compatible, kindhearted, caring, compassionate, loving and sincere with me and only me! There's someone out there for you, you just haven't stumbled across him yet. Find that inner strength, do you and be self discilplined to not allow your heart to be broken.

Best of luck!!!


ricky66's picture

Hi, I am quite late in responding ..I felt quite sad after reading your post ... I wont say that the boy is bad or anything because human emotions are not constant...thats what makes falling in love so magical ...I just wish with all my heart that you are taking good care of yourself and is on your way to find the love of your life and I hope you are surrounded by friends or relatives who care for you and trust you :) All the best!!! and as you know ..its the tough time ...which makes us


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