Thanks, Brooke. It's really about readjusting your perspective. Rather than thinking about the time you've spent trying to make something work (i.e., banging your head against a wall), ask yourself why you'd want to spend one more minute in a situation that causes you to feel unhappy and bad about yourself and the relief you'll experience when you end it (i.e., stop banging your head against a wall). Another variation is a relationship in which you just go through the motions out of habit and the passion has long since dissipated. Pass.

Life is too short to settle for the equivalent of a relationship security blanket. An individual who can stand on their own and feel good about themselves is far more appealing than a needy clinging vine. I'd rather be alone than in an unsatisfying, emotionally deadening relationship.

If I don't find a potential partner as interesting as I find myself, it's a red flag. If I look at a current partner and resent him for breathing oxygen in close proximity to me (due to boredom, constant discord, inability to meet mutual needs, insensitivity, etc.) it's another indication that it's time to move on. If you don't want similar things in life and/or no longer share similar values, it's also time to move on because there's just no mending of that kind of rift.

Best of luck to your friend and thanks for the comment.

TJP