Is your relationship stalled on the railroad tracks?

I just read Dr. Stieglitz’s story about New Choices and I was reminded of how choice impacts every aspect of our life. The preacher of the church I attended as a child was once talking about choice and he gave this example. If your car is stalled on the railroad tracks and a train is headed your way, you have two choices. Decide to get out of the car and save your life. Or, decide to stay with the car and get creamed. You can also sit there and think about which choice to make. The last two options have the same results.

In the train example, the need to make a quick choice is evident. In many of life’s situations, we know we need to make a change, but we spend so much time thinking about our choices that we fail to get out of the way of the train. Circumstances eventually make the decision for us. I think of that as living by default. Making choices means you’re not living by default but are in control of your life.

I’ve especially been thinking about this is the context of relationships where partners makes daily choices about the relationship and how they feel about each other. How you treat your spouse is a choice. Remaining in the relationship is a choice. Being faithful is a choice.

Every relationship has its peaks and valleys. Every partner has moments of doubt and periods of time when love wanes. At those times, it’s especially important to choose to love your spouse and be particularly attentive to making the small, but very important, daily choices that keep your relationship in tact. Feeling grumpy? Choose to be cheerful. Being tempted by the overtures of a co-worker? Choose to be faithful. Feeling resentful? Choose to feel grateful. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.