Oy vey! Between your job, the mortgage meltdown, a declining stock market and skyrocketing oil prices mental and physical exhaustion has hit you like a Mack truck. Emergency! You need to distress and fast.

Rejuvenation awaits with the perfect massage. What makes a massage perfect you ask? It’s all relative based on personal preferences but here are some tips to ensure your ideal massage doesn’t fall short of your expectations. Ahh, a decadent, relaxing, muscle soothing massage, here it comes baby. Your levels of anticipation are through the roof, nobody on the planet could wipe that smile off your face. Make sure they don’t and use these tips to ensure pure bliss with all your massage outings.

1) If you don’t have a go to guy or girl already then ask a friend or co worker for a referral.

2) Currently, 37 states and the District of Columbia regulate the practice of massage therapy. Verify licensure with your state’s Department of Health web site.

3) If your state does not regulate massage therapists make sure you choose a therapist that has completed a reputable massage therapy program and has received a certificate of completion.

4) In addition to the certificate of completion they should be certified with the National Certification Board for Therapeutic Massage & Body Work (NCBTMB).

5) Find out how long they have been practicing for. If they have been in the profession for 3  years or better they should have developed skills. You can verify when they originally obtained their license when you go to the Department of Health web site.

6) When making an appointment with a reputable company or spa don’t assume your massage will be perfect. Again ask friends if they have frequented certain spas. It can’t hurt to ask the person booking your appointment who they use. If they reply that everyone is great they are doing their job.

7) Wherever you do end up the therapist should have their current and valid license conspicuously displayed otherwise they are not following the law, which also means something is not kosher.

Emergency maneuvers if necessary.

You should not be made to feel uncomfortable. If this happens at any time the therapist is a rookie or seedy and unprofessional.

If you feel that dialogue, linen draping or ones touch is out of line then bail out. Most people feel awkward doing this but it’s your body being taken advantage of and your hard earned money being spent. How to bail you ask? How about “I have to use the bathroom”, “I don’t feel well”, “it’s that time of the month”, etc. The therapist should excuse themselves from the room for you to change or get your robe on. Immediately find the manager and speak to them privately don’t be concerned about the therapist’s feelings.

Now go get that massage!

Mark Degen, BS, ACLS, ACSM, ACE, LMT