Here's a way to test yourself. Get out a piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the center. On the left-hand side, list three inner traits that would make you an appealing partner. On the right-hand side, list three inner traits that would make you a challenging partner. Of your three challenging traits, which one are you willing to start working on. . . today?
Perhaps it's uncomfortable to think that you might have some rough edges in need of polishing. If this is your reaction, you are not alone. But the truth is that, like a good musical instrument, we can all use some fine tuning.

My coaching and psychotherapy work with both singles and couples has taught me that committed relationships are usually the product of compromise and gratitude -- a willingness to accept responsibility for 50% of what happens in the relationship, and an appreciation for how the other person enhances your life. When we are able to take ownership of our less-attractive personality traits -- and to consciously practice softening them -- we are more likely to draw worthy partners into our orbit.