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Contrary to popular opinion, there are a surprising number of men that LOVE being involved with an independent woman. Now ladies, before you begin burning your bras (yea I went there!), just remember that subtlety works best on men because we're generally too clueless or self-adsorbed to realize it.
If you polled a 100 men, asking them if we would want a woman depending upon us for everything, the answer would most likely indicate that we would never want a fully dependent woman. Exclude the "power trip" type of guy who's mommy didn't hug him enough or maybe got picked on by his big sister, and just think what a completely dependent woman would require. Constant support, never ending attention and minute by minute reaffirmation from her guy.
Can you say "Oh Hell No"?
Then again, the flip side of that equation is the fiercely independent woman that refuses to allow anyone to dominate a relationship but her. Slipping back into my own Freudian mindset, sure I want a dominant woman on occasion because there are "perks" to that type of behavior, but in general men feel threatened or intimidated by that type of woman. In actuality, that type of woman would likely require a dependent man so its a complete 180 of the previous scenario.
Either way, both scenarios are unhealthy and will require a jumbo sized suitcase to dispose of all the emotional baggage that gets left behind.
It's my personal opinion that a large percentage of men don't even realize they actually want a reasonably independent woman, but we're often too clueless or stubborn to admit the real truth. No one, especially guys, wants someone constantly around them 24 hours / 7 days a week, so a healthy dose of separation is a positive thing.
For example, consider the ramifications of dating a coworker. Interoffice dating, and even the coveted 5 minute make out session in the supply closet (WooHoo!), are frowned upon by most employers. The major reason being the fallout if things take a turn for the worse, but also that many couples may not be able to tolerate the constant contact being around one another for prolonged periods of time.
However, there is no denying that a strong willed woman in a business suit is a major turn-on. There is that "certain something" that these women bring to the relationship table that men go nuts over. Some of us may try to break out our Fred Flintstone's costume and try to club you over the head and drag you back to the cave, but that's only for a few hours of playtime!
The answer, in my opinion, is a healthy mix of independence combined with a healthy desire to be with your partner when time permits. Each person, or couple n this case, is different but find that comfort zone for you and stick to it.
Comments
Good to know there is still hope for the independent sistahs! :)
Peace & blessings
Idara E. Bassey
Spiritual Coach/Lawyer/Writer
I think that there are a surprising amount of men out there that secretly desire being dominated by a strong woman just like super-strong women like to be "taken" by someone that can handle them.