BlogBLOG DETAIL
no one has voted yet
Saving...
Recommend this? YES NO

Where was the place you went to hide growing up?

Dr. Mark Goulston's picture
By: Dr. Mark Goulston User is an Expert (see more of Dr. Mark Goulston's blogs)

A lot of families had it much worse, but my family growing up was not a very happy place. To get away from it I would sit underneath a baby grand piano we had nestled in a corner of our living room where no one could see me. I would stay there touching the coolness of the brass pedals.
That setting as served a model for my approach to therapy as a psychiatrist, especially to people in despair. I have realized that what I really wanted (and needed) as I sat under that piano was a caring adult to come by and not feel sorry for me, and not take my side against my family, and not try to coax me out with some false reassurance.
What I needed was for a special adult to see me under the piano, come over and say: "Mind if I join you?" and then come and sit with me under the piano. Then in my mind's eye weeks and months would pass and when I felt that person was not going to leave or try to control me, I imagined shifting my "autistic like" focus from the piano to him and asking him: "Why are you sitting here (wasting your time)?"
And in my mind's eye, I imagined him responding: "Because it didn't look like you should be alone feeling the way you do."
Gradually I would trust him, attach to him and together we would walk out from under the piano and into life.

That is what I try to do as a therapist with my deeply despairing patients, i.e. join them in their pain until they feel less alone and then walk with them when they are ready out into their life.
WHERE WAS THE PLACE YOU WENT TO HIDE WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP TO GET AWAY FROM HOW BAD YOU FELT? SHARE YOUR STORY?

If you enjoyed this article, subscribe to our newsletter and we'll keep you updated with fresh new content.

 Subscribe to Comments

comments

It was my shell and I was the crab. It was cool and dark and comforting. It offered me a different perspective; I could see who was in the room, by their feet, without them noticing me.

It was a safe perspective, no one could take it away or invade my thoughts. It was all mine.

Amanda's picture

Amanda thank you for sharing.

Dr. Mark Goulston's picture

I always found comfort with my animals. In Israel as a young girl growing up on a kibbutz, I would either walk myself into our dairy farm or go to the childrens zoo. As an adult, I hide out with my 3 dogs - we exchange touch (NO WORDS) which is usually what makes me feel the best.

2share4now's picture
Add comment