Where is a coach when you need one?

Posted by Rob on November 20, 2007 11:19 PM PST

Recommend this? YES NO

A friend recently told me (jokingly) that PeopleJam resembles a "coach cult" because there are so many professional coaches on this site. It is true , there are plenty of coaches here. We have a sweet spot for people who are motivated by a desire to serve others.

We are inspired by John Stuart Mill's philosophy that real happiness comes from helping other people achieve theirs. It's nice to see that so many people attracted to the same philosophy have joined together on PeopleJam.

That's why I find it perplexing when coaches are missing in action sometimes. On some of the most crucial exchanges on this site there is nary a coach to be found. There are plenty of regular non-coach civilians in search of support and guidance on PeopleJam, but sometimes, inexplicably, their very candid and vulnerable posts go unheard. Or at least unanswered by our resident coaches. Consider the following examples:

A wife of many years struggles with the challenge of divorce and single parenthood.

A young executive preparing for his wedding juggles multiple commitments in all too little time, fretting that his busy schedule may be driving his religious devotion to last place.

A young woman, coping with conflicted emotions about a co-worker, drowns her feelings in alcohol.

A young gay man engages in empty liaisons devoid of commitment or meaning.

A lonely single mother questions her sexual orientation and contends with the implications of rejection and isolation.

All of these stories have been posted on PeopleJam in the recent weeks. And not one of them has attracted a comment from a coach.

These people are not seeking easy blandishments about "thinking positive" and "making an action plan." Their challenges go beyond the easy fixes. These people are coping with core issues of identity, belief, meaning or the lack thereof.

Coaches, can you rise to the occasion?

Such cases may present a challenge to "armchair coaches" because the authors of these posts might not recognize their own need for support. They may be unwilling to consider it. Indeed they may even spurn a coach's initial offer of assistance. And yet, the fact remains that they have posted their stories of pain and heartache publicly on PeopleJam for others to read and respond to. On some level these people yearn to make a connection. Are you up for it?

So, c'mon you coaches, lets go. Step up to the next level of engagement. Get real with the other members of PeopleJam.

Make the connection. Use the private messaging system if you don't want to post publicly. It doesn't matter how your reach them. It only matters that you do it. Whatever it takes. Get engaged. Do it now.

Thanks for reading this. I salute those who are ready to go for it. Please be sure to come back and tell me how you did it.

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5 Comments

You've voiced several of my "concerns" quite eloquently and diplomatically. What's going on? I thought coaches were supposed to act as a community resource to non-coach members? Are some coaches sitting the fence, afraid to take a stand or are they simply not interested in issues that don't fit nicely with their professional agendas?

If coaches can't step up to the plate, then why are they here? Free advertising? Mini-coach-on-coach support groups? Oops, guess I just expressed my "concerns" and not diplomatically. I hope they rise to the challenge, Robert. I don't think they can, well, they haven't yet. What are they waiting for? Hats off to you for speaking up. I respect you for it.

TJP

Posted by Tara on November 21, 2007 7:40 AM PST

Hey Rob,

Thank you for posting your call to action, which by the way spurred a question/thought. However, before I ask/share, I just want to say that there are some awesome coaches on the site and I look forward to seeing them truly shine.

OK, now for my thought/question; as a topic coach I understood that I was to post comments, welcome messages, questions, etc in response to entries posted in my assigned topical areas (kind of like the party host/meeter/greeter). Now, I am not saying that I cannot and will not post in other areas, but I always check to see if the topical coach has posted before I jump in. Why? Because (and maybe this is the old online community developer coming out) I do not wish to step on toes. So with that, can you please clarify for me, is it cool to be the first coach to respond to an entry where you are NOT the topic coach?

Thanks so much!!

Posted by Pam Thomas on November 21, 2007 7:54 AM PST

Hi Pam, thanks for the nice note. Please jump into any dialog on the site if you feel the urge to connect. This is all a work in progress, so there's no particular pecking order. The main rules are common sense: be constructive, be honest, try to relate to people the way you'd like to be addressed. But you already knew that.

Tara, you are not the first to point this out. The concerns you raise have been mentioned by others, too. Let's see how the coaches respond to the posts from our rapidly-broadening membership of people who are not from the personal development industry. I have a lot of confidence in our coaches. I am excited about the fact that real people are coming to the site with real stories of personal challenges, setbacks and triumph. I know that the coaches have a good deal to share on these topics. I am looking forward to seeing a real positive exchange in the coming days and weeks.

Posted by Rob on November 21, 2007 9:00 AM PST

ought to be the first line of coaching to respond to posts within their assigned topic area. Other coaches should feel free to chime in whenever they're so inclined. Either way, more coaches should respond directly to more users overall.