"What Money Lessons Are You Teaching?"

When I was growing up, I got at least $100 every time I saw my aunts, uncles and grandparents. In my family, love was expressed with money.

I was totally unaware of it until I went back to Florida a few weeks ago and my kids and I came home with a pocketful of loot!

The weirdest part is that I’m fairly certain I’m making a boatload more money than just about everyone that gave me money, but I realize now it was never about my need.

They give me money because, to my family, that’s how you show love.

I don’t remember my parents ever governing what I did with that money. I don’t remember any direct lessons about giving or saving; but, I learned plenty indirectly.

I never heard my parents talk about their own giving, though I did see them get dressed up for charity events. Saving was never overemphasized in my household. And my ex’s family had equally dysfunctional money behaviors.

My parents lived from paycheck to paycheck ramping up their expenses along with their income, like most people. My in-laws were 3rd generation Crosleys who lived from trust distribution to trust distribution.

Neither my children's dad nor I learned very healthy money habits.

And I can see clearly how it set us both back. I want to help Kaia and Noah to have healthier money behaviors.

So, I spent Sunday morning helping Kaia write thank you notes, divide out her money into SPEND, SAVE, and GIVE piles, and open a bank account to deposit her SAVE pile from the Florida booty. It totaled $230, and Noah collected an even amount!

I gave her guidelines but allowed her to determine how to divide the money. She could pick any amount to SPEND, but an equal amount would go into GIVE and the rest would go into SAVE.

She chose to put $30 in each of GIVE and SPEND and $170 in SAVE. I had received a $25 account opening bonus from ING.

I explained to her that she’d be getting interest on her money, and she’s super excited that the bank is giving her money without her doing anything.

Let me tell you that doing all that was not easy – Kaia complained through most of it, but I stuck with it with the hopes that she’ll learn early that money is not to be hoarded and the more she invests in herself and gives away, the better return she’ll see on her investments.

© 2007 Alexis Martin Neely

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This story is meaningful to me because I want to teach my children to have healthier money behaviors.