Is there something you've always wanted to do, but are afraid to try? Do you want to make changes in your life, yet have difficulty letting go of the past and unhealthy habits? The key to change and moving forward in life lies within you and no one else. If someone pointed to a prison cell, would you willingly enter and lock the barred door? I didn’t think so.

Anything worth having requires work. If there's something you want in life, be it career advancement, better relationships or better health, you need to be willing to challenge yourself, take calculated risks, and make the effort.

Many of us hesitate or choose not to pursue goals and dreams that would enrich the quality of our lives, even when these aspirations are well within our reach. What holds you back? Some obstacles are complacency, perceived barriers, poor sense of self-efficacy, and fear. Fear is perhaps the greatest barrier. Cognitive distortions maintain personal and professional fears.

A cognitive distortion is a defense mechanism that protects you from the anxiety of the fear of failure, fear of the unknown, and fear in general. Cognitive distortions act as obstacles to goal attainment. We limit ourselves by adhering to them rather than challenging them. Most defenses protect our anxieties rather than our well-being. They stop us from living life to its fullest potential, whilst keeping our fears alive and well.

Creating change is like a mathematical equation: a different outcome requires changing at least one variable. 2 + 2 = 4, it will never equal 5 nor 6, no matter how many times you try to make it so, at least not in a base 10 system.

People gravitate toward the known and the familiar, even if it is unbearable and no longer viable. Real change is rare and difficult. On some level, we are afraid of attaining what we want most in life. This is why we frequently self-sabotage our own efforts.

We make choices that contradict what we say we want. Why is there so much ambivalence and resistance to change, even when desired? What would happen if we actually got what we think we want? It might not be quite what we expected (i.e., it does not live up to the fantasy) or it might not be what you wanted after all or it just might make you happy. Nevertheless, change requires gaining awareness, making different choices, taking risks, and trying new behaviors, which is difficult for most.

We're afraid of being hurt, failing, and the related feelings that accompany these two conditions: shame, loss, and the belief that we are not “good enough.” It is difficult to get out of our own way for these reasons.

There are many other cognitive distortions (e.g., “should-ing” all over yourself, overgeneralization, catastrophizing, minimization, arrogance, etc.) They have the same result; they maintain our fears and are deterrents in working toward our dreams.
Essentially, if you are having difficulty pursuing your goals, examine your fears and concerns. Discuss them with a friend, trusted confidante, or licensed helping professional.
Bottom line, the only person who can take you where you want to go is you. You may find help along the way, but you have to take those first steps.