To answer this question you must first understand what your faith means to you. To start with, there is a difference between spirituality and religion. Spirituality is the transcendent experience of being connected to something greater than you, which is usually referred to as god (but not necessarily). Religion is the social structure created to facilitate spirituality through rituals, traditions and religious doctrine. One can be spiritual without being religious, and it is possible to be religious without being spiritual as well. The issue of dating outside your faith becomes most complicated if you are both spiritual and religious. This means following your particular religious heritage is important.

If you are dating someone outside of your religion there is a simple test that can help you determine if you are going to have conflict in the future. Ask yourself, and your significant other, to rate the importance of his or her religion on a scale of one to seven. Studies have shown that this is a fairly accurate way of determining how important one’s religion is to them.

If you rate religion low in importance to you, then your task is to be open. Take the religious practices of your partner seriously and refrain from humorous comments about symbolism or ancient traditions that seem illogical or strange to you. Most religious practices have been shaped over thousands of years so don’t expect them to translate easily into today’s vernacular.

Rating religion as moderate in importance means you are already open to religion but you are more of an independent than a committed party member. Get informed about your partner’s religion, because showing interest is a sign of respect. Differences don’t have to mean disagreements, but they often lead to intense conversations when the subject is religion. Make your goal to understand more than be understood.

Someone who rates their religion as a seven out of seven is going to want to follow their religious tradition pretty closely. If you don’t share the same views, then you are going to have issues to resolve at some point. This might not seem too important when you first start dating, but after a while the issue of religion can become more significant. A common mistake for the highly religious person is to assume that the other person will convert at some point. This assumption can lead to disappointment later. What we are willing to consider doing when we first fall in love is not the same thing as what we are actually willing to commit ourselves to later on. And the issue of religious differences may become most salient when it comes to deciding how to raise children. If you decide to raise your children within a particular religion it is best to provide them with a clear religious identity, especially in their younger years.

After having said all this, is it possible to date outside of one’s faith? Of course. It happens all the time. But if your spiritual or religious views are important to you, then it’s probably best to have those important conversations sooner than later in your dating life. Differences can be exciting, and even enhancing in a relationship. But differences force couples to have proficient communication skills in order to be happy. Contrary to what your father told you, I recommend that you do talk about religion and politics, especially if you are dating outside your faith.