What’s really getting in the way of achieving your weight loss goals?

Posted by Tina Elliot on October 16, 2007 11:36 AM PDT

Recommend this? YES NO

I have struggled with my weight or most of my life. I have tried every, diet, exercise program, diet pills, magic supplements and tea. You name it, I’ve tried it! Nothing worked permanently. I always gained the weight back.

And yes, I did have the deck stacked against me, a genetic predisposition and family history of obesity and a mother that expressed her love by cooking fabulous meals. Food was associated with every emotion. Feeling great eat Feeling sad, angry – eat. Celebrating anything - it always included great food and lots of it!

It wasn’t until I was asked this question: How does carrying this extra weight serve you? Hummm. What a question! Well my conscious answer was it doesn’t. But what was underneath it?

I started doing some personal development work. Doing this work gave me the space and time to really think. I started pondering this question and came to the realization there were things missing in my life and food was my constant friend. Always there, it tasted great, never talked back and allowed me to sit on the sidelines, never having to take the big risks and really get out there and play in the game of life. Never having to deal with the fear of taking risks to be completely successful in all areas of my life.

I believe this is the missing link in most weight loss programs – personal development. Take the time to fix what’s not working. Give yourself the time and space to connect with the inner you. What is your extra weight protecting or insulating you from?

Let’s face it; excess weight is a symptom of something else. What is it for you?

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3 Comments

I agree with this Tina and also want to add that it's not always the case. In my earlier years, excess weight allowed me to remain invisible. Most people don't notice or pay much attention to fat people. Just the way it is. Staying overweight is a great way to hide. Like you, I did tons of personal development work when I decided I no longer wanted to be invisible. I went to the depths of my soul and when I came out the other end I was happy and healthy for the first time in my life. But I was still overweight. Now, many of you know me here at Peoplejam and know I have not only done my personal work as a coach, but I have also taught personal development classes for years and wrote a personal development program which is being used in the executive coaching program in three universities. I have done the work!!! But I am still overweight and working on it. My weight issues in the past ten years have been largely physiological and not psychological. So I have to say that the assumption that I have a psychological flaw or a lot of personal development work to do has been a pain in my big butt! So I'd like to just go on the record here to say it's not always the case. It was at one time for me, but not now. Thanks for bringing this up Tina! You've given me a great platform to say this out loud!

Posted by Amy Ruppert on October 23, 2007 7:44 AM PDT

How do we know what we "should" weigh? Do we know more than our bodies? More than nature?

When we think we should be a particular weight and we're not there, what do we do? How do we judge ourselves and beat ourselves up? What kind of choices do we then make? How do we comfort ourselves when we are in the constant story of failure and imperfection?

As Amy so eloquently points out, we are not in control. Can we influence our bodies? Yes, of course-in ways that support and/or don't. And we are not in charge. When we think we are, we fall into a trap that can keep us further than ever from what we think we want.

I have it that I can not even know what the "right" weight is for my body. (It took me awhile to let that one go.) My brilliant body is far more knowledgeable on this subject than I can ever hope to be.

So...what if you let go of your results-oriented goals and instead brought your goals to the here and now? What if you committed to creating the conditions that support your body in finding its own optimal healthy weight and then let your body do its job without your interference or judgment?

I coach my individual and workshop clients to get out of the results and focus on the process.

Ironically, by not being attached to what my body does as a result of my process, I have lost far more weight, feel better, look better and am happier and having far more fun than I ever did when I was focused on the results.

Posted by Sharon Rich on October 23, 2007 9:29 AM PDT

Dear Amy:

Thanks for your impassioned response to my story. You remind us of an important point that we should all be aware of. It is possible for our weight issues to be medical and/or physiological as they are for you. I have found this to be the case for a couple of clients in my practice. As a coach, when awareness happens for my client I walk the path that supports them most. For me it means exploring all possible factors and getting other professional and/or medical support if necessary.

I appreciate you sharing your personal story as well. I think different stories are of great value and will speak to the diversity of readers on peoplejam.