Now that football season is a departed memory, and you have absolutely nothing to do on the upcoming, and no doubt boring weekends, that just weeks ago brought you such entertainment from 6'7", 350lb men nicknamed Bruiser and Sasquatch, what can you find to occupy yourself?

Power tools are always a good option! Then again, your friends call you Stumpy for a reason. Hitting the gym could work because you're wearing 10 extra pounds from the hot wings and cheesy poofs, but being lazy has its advantages too.

Wait! Perhaps its time to revive that once a year tradition we used to relish before our prostate became larger than our egos! Lace up the bootstraps and shave off the stubble... it's time to start dating again!

Step One

Get your fat ass into shape! The ladies aren't going to find you visually appealing if you have eaten twice your body weight in buffalo wings this winter, so the beer gut has to go. Get yourself into the gym on a regular schedule, but make sure you do not have a nice view of the ladies during stair stepping class. Nothing kills a testosterone pumped workout faster than watching girls in tight spandex. We want the blood flowing in a separate direction!

Step Two

If you haven't dated in a while, pick up a few lines that do not begin with "The Patriots" or "That defense". In fact, ditch the lines completely and try having a normal conversation with a girl. Go for the "fat penguin" ice breaker and you should be off to a great start.

Step Three

Don't be a dumbass! Now I realize this may mean different things to different people, but remember that you're not surrounded by a group of guy's who's only reaction is yelling obscenities at the TV. Flashback to all those basic gentleman rules your parents taught you (hopefully!) and depending upon your success, you should be somewhat tolerable.

Sadly, there comes a point at which we all are forced to grow up. As I continue to age, or as my girlfriend tells me "as I gain wisdom", I see this type of behavior more and more with my core group of male friends. In a way, it's depressing to think about in a post Valentine's Day blues scenario, but just because you're the stooge of the group, doesn't mean your entourage hasn't made you the front runner in the single-for-life competition.