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Unacceptable Dating Behavior is Always Unacceptable
The dating process is one of the most universally perplexing processes. Dating confounds even the most resolute of people dating.
Dating requires that you be…
• Forthcoming
• Take some risks
• Become a good observer and listener; and
• Trust and act on your observations and intuitions.
One essential reason to become a good observer is to be able to recognize unacceptable behavior and stop dating someone ASAP. Dating is a process and part of the process is to be an active participant and to be proactive in your decision-making and choices.
People tell us about themselves from the very beginning. Have the willingness and courage to hear them accurately and believe them!
Remember, only YOU can make it happen!
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I agree with you 110% Dr. Jackie,
I think that not only must people be keenly aware of what's being said and of what's not being said, but when it comes time to make that informed decision, one should be forthright with the person in question.
So, instead of not returning calls or making lame excuses like, "I'm busy, sorry...." Just tell the truth! For instance, "I just don't see this working out, the fact that you couldn't look me in the eyes and were ogling teenage girls instead, was a major turn off."
Perhaps you could be saving the next guy/girl from a bad date if you were to tell that person exactly what you didn't like about them so that they have a chance to change it.
I hope it's more of a compassionate approach than a cold, mean-spirited dismissal.
Hi Amanda: Thanks so much for your comments.
You know, I prefer to encourage people to speak from the *I* position and offer feedback about themselves specifically, vs. telling someone what you don't like about them.
More often than you'd think, the behavior, attitude or belief that one person doesn't like about another is the very thing someone else values and appreciates.
In any event, I couldn't agree with you more! Please tell YOUR truth and resist not returning calls; making lame excuses; and just disappearing.
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