Turning Point

You have a tremendous opportunity in front of you Susana.

Depression is one the worst productivity killers out there, and you have overcome it.

The ending of your long term relationship has left you with more available time than your friends who may be married, in long term relationships, or starting their families. That will continue to feel like a mismatch until the time demands in your own life catch up again.

But look at what you can now do. You have personal time you can spend pursuing whatever you choose to do. Now is the time to learn to be comfortable with, and happy spending time on YOU. You can read, study, work out, and seek new opportunities of all kinds.

Find a sideline that interests you and can provide extra income. Perhaps that could even be a toe hold into a new career path.

You have spent your life largely in the company of others. Believe me, that will return.

Now is the time to remove any dependency you may have for companionship as validation of your own self worth. A time to learn how to have peace and contentment that comes from within. Focus on short term wins and accomplishments that can reverse your emotional momentum.

Spend less time looking at the "whole" picture, its just too large (for any of us). It looks unsolvable that way. Break it down into smaller achievable goals and you will conquer them all, one at a time. As you do, the "whole" picture will start looking better and better.

The absence of activity and distractions has opened a door, and allowed your soul to tell you things that might not have been heard before. Listen carefully.

Years from now you will look back, see the decisions you made, the successes that resulted, and be thankful for whatever got you to this point.

What a wonderful opportunity.

Dear Gram,

thank you so much for your wonderfull and caring answer..

:*********

Gram, that's terrific advice. I agree with everything you wrote.

I'll add one additional suggestion for you, Susana, taking Gram's lead...

There's a pretty fun movie you may have seen named, "What About Bob," starring Bill Murray. Its one of those silly comedies that actually has some amazing lessons to offer. The one I'm thinking of is a core theme of the film - taking baby steps.

As Gram points out, tackling everything in your life at once is too hard - and unnecessary. Small changes can have a big impact. Take baby steps towards one or two goals, and then take some more. Pretty soon you'll see that you've made tremendous progress, and much more than you ever could have imagined achieving through any single step.

As you consider and possibly pursue this idea, there's one more element that could make a meaningful difference for you - celebrate the MINI victories. Rejoice in what you achieve through baby steps! You deserve to feel great when you move toward your goals, so give yourself pats on the back when they're needed. Soon you'll find that others are celebrating with you.

Dear Matt,

thank you for your kind words. I have to agree with you and Gram. I can't handle everything at once, no way. It's too big, too heavy, too confusing.. I feel really weak... so I have to think about it really well, and try to make a list of priorities...

I'll keep you posted ;) :**

lots of love from Portugal

Susana

ditto on everything (except make the 7 year relationship into an 18 Mon unhealthy job.)
I keep trying to see things as an opportunity to be unproductive for a little while. I am about to have a whole body massage, something I never did before because I never had time. I'm scared about what cones next and have doing some spiritual exploration--again something neglected between grad school and working.

Cheers,
-b-

Dear -b-,

Thank you for giving me your opinion. I'm not really scared of what comes next, and you shouldn't be either. I am more afraid of not being able to do what I need to do to get out of this state of emptyness and lack of energy. I feel bad, but don't feel I can do anything about it.
Anyway, all the advice I have been receiving here and from my friends and family might just do the trick.. Let's see...

Keep doing the things that give you pleasure and keep away from the pain. Sometimes it makes me forget the bad stuff for awhile

:***
Susana

That was me by the way, I forgot to log in .. lol