Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon professor who inspired millions with "The Last Lecture,"

I didn't know him, but his death deeply affected me. And having done house calls to dying people for most of my 30 years as a psychiatrist, his passing caused me to pause and reflect on the collective wisdom that he and they have taught me.

1. "No dying man wishes he'd spent more time at the office."

2. While you're out trying to win the respect and admiration of the outside world who usually won't give it to you, don't make those who really do care about you feel like their love and respect isn't worth anything.

3. Don't let your emotional shyness cause you to wait until it's too late to say: "I'm sorry," "Thank you," "I love you" and "I'll miss you."

4. Wealth is what you take from the world; worth is what you give back a.k.a. In the end, it's not what you have that matters, it's what you leave behind.

5. Smart is about knowing what will make you money; Wisdom is about knowing what's important.

6. Love means ALWAYS having to say (and show) you're sorry. It also means loving people not only for what they do right, but in spite of what they do wrong (because it's those latter times when they really need love and understanding and not criticism).

7. You can't make anyone love you, you can only be loving and hope that makes you more lovable.

8. Don't try to change people; accept them as they are and hope they change instead of not accepting them at all until they change.

9. When everybody admires and respects or is impressed by you or even adores you and nobody knows you, you can die of loneliness (that's what killed Marilyn Monroe).

10. Always say, "Gee, am I glad to see you," when you come home from work, so the people closest to you know they matter to you.

11. Always say, "Goodbye, I love you," when you leave your family for work, because you never know when you're going to get hit by a truck.

12. You can focus on what you're disappointed about and be a bitter person or on what you're grateful for and be a better person. The choice is up to you.

How to Grieve

House Calls: Living Through Wanting to Die

To hear live someone who is the embodiment of collective wisdom, catch Warren Bennis, the world's foremost authority on leadership discussing "Leading for a Lifetime" on July 29 at 10:00 AM/1:00 PM EST at Leadingnews.org.

"Boredom occurs when I fail to make the other person interesting" - Warren Bennis