Of course I want to keep my kids safe! However, telling them not to talk to strangers was much to broad a statement. And, confusing when confronted with situations like the nice senior citizen in the grocery store lines says, "That's the cutest little dress I've ever seen," and I tell my daughter, "Say 'Thank You.'"

"But you always tell us not to talk to strangers. . . " is the reply. This wasn't actually my daughter, but the woman in front of me and her 2 year old. I looked at my precious 6 month old and new I had to find another way.

Feelings and emotions are a high priority in my house, so we were already introducing our baby to the idea of feeling things through our basic baby babble. From personal experience, I knew that I could tell without a doubt whenever I walked into a room where two people had been arguing -- even if I hadn’t heard them. I am also quite certain that I keep an extra eye on all the children at the park when the man who gives me the willies is there pretending to read his book. We all have an innate ability to "feel" the energy being put off by the people around us. So, from the time my children could understand me, we started labeling the feelings that were created within us when we were around other people. I'd like to emphasize that we were not judging them, as people can feel "off" because they simply had a bad day, lost a job, a family member died, or their car isn't done at the repair shop. It's about staying away from people that create a negative feeling in us, not labeling them good or bad.

So, I would be sure to point out both people that made us feel good, as well as those that made us feel bad. Eventually, I would say, "how did you feel when X person was talking with you?" Or, "Do you see that person across the parking lot, how do you feel when you take notice of their energy?" My children became very adept.

The tough part came when my second child was in pre-school. The primary teacher pulled me aside one day to tell me that when they were talking about stranger danger in class the day before, my son told the teacher that he is in fact aloud to talk to strangers as long as they feel safe. I made an attempt to explain my parenting philosophy to the teacher while emphasizing that she heard a paraphrased version of my parenting as delivered by a 4 year old, but the fact was, that is pretty much what I teach my children -- However, I do not, and did not, turn them loose in the park to learn the hard way that they were misunderstanding the signals being put out by someone.

Ultimately, the teacher wrote a "report" about us that went into "the file." As my children mature and newer dangers are made public, I modify my instructions to them. They know about screaming and running away. They know about traveling in groups. But they are also growing up with a strong trust in their own intuition (or gut instinct). My kids were not afraid of the Boogey Man (or the neighbors or the kindly old man in the grocery store) and they do know how to pay attention to their surroundings to keep themselves safe!

Children don't have to have the experience of fear in order to make really good heart based and instinctual decisions. Also, when you are teaching your children something that appears to fly in the face of the collective consciousness, be prepared to defend them and yourself.