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Sometimes you just feel fat
I know I'm far from being overweight. Jeez I'm almost 6ft tall and weigh 140 lbs. It's quite the difference though from being 20 lbs lighter only 9 months ago. No I'm not pregnant haha. I learned to eliminate bad habits out of my life. I stopped doing drugs, I stopped smoking ciggarettes, and I started eating. Not that I wasn't eating, but with so many appetite supressants in your life you can't help to get full quicker. Now that I am 20 lbs heavier, I notice the curves that were once bones. My hips widened and I went from a size 1 to a 5. That to me was pretty traumatic, you wake up and your pants don't fit. You're jeans don't button... Oh my I was so depressed. I felt like a blimp. Most normal human beings go up that many pant sizes gradually over a few years not in 9 months (unless you're preggo). My boyfriend loves it, but I don't. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the way I was, but I know in my heart that I look better and more healthy.
I guess it will come to me in time.
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What's the right size? What's the right shape? I struggle with this issue, too. We all do. Men have it easy because they can lose weight easily. It's harder for women. All I can say is, you are doing the right thing to give up drugs and cigarettes. They will kill you if you keep on taking them. Your body will be happier now that you are treating it better. Good for you. Have a nice holiday this year without drugs.
That's what he said to me before...ahem...well, you get the idea. I'm always pleasantly surprised whenever I find out that men love curves. I was like you, Zoe, partying in the New York City, dancing my nights away, barely eating, and loving my pin-thin frame.
Now that I've got a healthier body and life-perspective, sometimes I feel fat while my friends roll their eyes and assure me that I'm still very petite. I know that I am, but like you, I'm still getting used to this new body. But it helps to have someone who appreciates you, so just focus on that and remember, real women have curves that real men love!
It's so yummy;)
Zoe: I commend you on all the life changes that you just made. Getting off drugs even if it is just appetite suppressors is more than a major accomplishment. You said NO in one area to say YES in another. You would be surprised how weight is able to distrbiute through out your body. You have to listen to what your boyfriend who is admiring your new curves is saying to you. Truth be told a 1 to a 5 is a junior size, which puts you probably at a size 4. The average women in America is a size 12. I know that watching clothing change in sizes is heartbreaking, but you are probably where your body wants you to be. Take a poll of people that don't know you as crazy as it is. If the man on the street is admiring, know one thing you are doing something right.
The magazines are not the place to measure yourself. Your life is and your friends and family are not going to lie. You will probably drop back down a few, once your body understands you have stopped starving it. New Year's resolution for you. Be where you are and keep on making healthy choices in your diet and your exercise regime. You will want that weight in your face as you age. Curvy is in and your boyfriend should know. Men love curves more than skinny. Congrats girl, say Hi to the new you.
Hi Zoe,
I think you're gorgeous! You have an amazingly fierce personality and that's tops in my book. I'm happy and proud to count you as one of my acquaintances (thanks, Matt!)
Hi Barbara, I must admit, I like what you wrote in your comment to Zoe. I have new found respect for you and your views that I didn't have before with the closet / hanger thing. Your advice and encouragement to Zoe is poignant and empowering (at least to me). I'm honored to share blog space with both of you.
TJP