So You've Been Rejected-Now What?

Rejection is something that we all face. It starts early and seems to be a part of all of our lives. Some people bounce back from rejection while others are devastated by it. What can you do to overcome the pain of rejection?

Different people become sensitized to rejection for different reasons. However, our life experiences with rejection from an early age begin to shape our rejection response. Research has shown that children who are emotionally or physically abused, or who are neglected, tend to become more sensitive to rejection. Also children who grow up in poverty or war zones, situations that can divert parental attention and undermine formation of secure bonds are at risk.

Genetic makeup or premature birth may set the nervous system up for increased physiological responses in the presence of a rejection environment. This may be the case even if parents are supportive and not overly critical.

How do you bounce back from rejection? Some simple strategies can help.

1. Don’t attribute all rejection to yourself. Remind yourself that often rejection isn't about you.  Very often rejection may have nothing to do with you personally. Your rejection may simply be the byproduct of someone’s decision about another matter. .

2. Learn from the situation- if you are rejected, make it a learning situation. Ask for feedback. Talk to people and figure out what you could do next time to decrease your chances of being rejected. Everything from first impressions to interactions during business and pleasure can all be valuable sources of information. Take the rejection as a chance to learn.

3. Try to let it go. Remember- rejection is a common event for most people.  Remind yourself that over thinking it will only make things worse. Try activities that are distracting.

4. Talk to friends and family.  What may be a minor event to everyone else may feel like a major event to you.  Communicate your feelings and get things off of your chest.  

5. Try not to shy away. Each experience offers the chance for rejection or success. The more you try the greater your chances for both. You can’t have one without the other.