Posting things on the web turns out to be a huge trigger for my Inner Perfectionist... Writing things for publication has the same effect on me. (Having just spent 3 months creating my first website under the influence of that Inner Perfectionist, I would say that it's now more like a "hair-trigger")

My brain seems to translate writing for publication in any form into a conversation that goes something like this "Your words are going to be out there for everyone to see - and they're going to be out there for a really long time. Be sure that you say something that will stand the scrutiny, as well as the test of time before publish/post it"...

What is this ~ War and Peace? (I bet Tolstoy had his own issues about all this kind of thing, too...) OUCH! And of course, while under the influence of the IP, I never realize it. So something else has turned the light on for me here.

So it's 4 AM this morning - and I don't WANT to tbe awake.. I am leaving for Philly today for a training that I have been waiting to attend and am very excited about - but still, it's 4 am and I am not done sleeping yet. (It's 6 am now and I am STILL not done sleeping yet, but that's another story)

The first line of this posting was swirling around in my head - I dreamt I was posting - then I rolled over and pulled the covers up ....and dreamt that I was posting. (Quite happily and without much editing, apparently)

Posting in my dreams tells me something about how much more important this Community is to me than my connection to that Inner Perfectionist.

What I'm feeling now as I post this - without looking back (TOO much) and reading what I've written - is that there is a huge gift in just jumping into the conversation and saying what's on your mind. If it's not perfect - it's much more likely that it will invite comments and further conversation - as other people read it and have their own thoughts about it.

When it's "perfect," it's like you've said it all . What can anyone else do but smile and say, "Yep, it's perfect - you don't need me in that conversation".

Perfect, I'm thinking right now, is that you've done it all yourself - kind of the opposite of Community.... Hmmmmmmm.

So that's my story for the moment - I know there will be more. Right now the road is calling me. But I leave with another window open in my heart, and more dreams of posting - in a very "messy" and "un-perfect" way.

It feels very good!