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Smelly, Boring, Lame, Yappy, and Sucky: Top Five Ways to Alienate Co-Workers
It’s pretty easy to get your co-workers to dislike you. All it takes is a little creativity and a total lack of consideration for other people. Use these methods to get started on the road to alienation.
1. Smelly - Make sure everyone can smell you – your food, your perfume, your bodily functions. Just lay it all out there. The stinky-er the better.
2. Boring - Plan a lot of meetings. Don’t bother with an agenda and make sure to start each one with a long anecdote that begins with the words ‘this is hilarious’.
3. Lame - Communicate via email to your cube mate. Because really, it’s a lot more efficient than raising your voice above a whisper.
4. Yappy - Gossip about everybody all the time. Sure there’s an appropriate amount of gossip in any work environment. Go way over and above that.
5. Sucky - Suck up to the boss. Take credit for everything you legally can. Find out your boss’s favorite coffee drink and it waiting, hot and fresh, every morning.
How have co-workers behaved badly where you work? Let’s hear it in the comments!
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I can't wait to get started doing this! At a consulting job once I had a cubicle partner who rarely bathed, but to top it off she also liked to eat her meals at her desk. Not a problem on the productivity side, but one day the stink was unbearable around her desk - even with her not there - and I opened up her large file drawer to see at least a week's worth of dirty dishes. When I asked her to clean it up, she told me she would get to it. After another day, I told her supervisor. Then she proceeded to get really mad at ME!
Love the list. However, I think number 3 can be kinda cute sometimes. Me and my boss sit facing each other and occasionally we communicate just by gmail chat and smile at each other. I think he has a crush on me and we play footsy every once in a while.
I actually had a coworker once who truly believed himself to be a dragon trapped inside a human body. And he would talk to me about it a lot. He claimed to be a male dragon trapped inside a human male's body and he was dating a female dragon also trapped inside a human male's body. So he was still all gung-ho about being straight. It was amusing but bizarre.