Romantic Ideas- Have a Threesome?!

Posted by Jen Sincero on February 5, 2008 8:51 AM PST

Tags: Dating, Jen Sincero, romance, sex, Staying Married, threesome

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Dear Jen,
We're an attractive married couple in our late 30's and I, the husband, am writing this. Like most men, I would love to engage in a threesome with an attractive woman and my wife. My wife would be interested (aside from the fact that she'd probably have some firm ground rules on penetration) and has a "short list" of people, celebs and porn stars, that she would get it on with.

The best way to get involved in a threesome is to scout for potential prospects, right? Where would a couple in the NYC area find a "swingers" party, first just to watch couples having sex (a turn on), and then maybe later to get involved?
Plus, any other ideas on how to get my wife interested? She loves sex and even watches porn with me, but is not really into the threesome idea unless the perfect person is involved. She doesn't have many close women friends, and I think it would have to be an outsider the first time anyway. Your thoughts?
- Three's Company

Dear Company,
Oh that I had a nickel for every time some guy wrote in asking how he can convince his girlfriend/wife/any woman, really, to get it on with another chick. It's like watching parents attempt to get their kid to eat Brussels sprouts. There you all are, eagerly sliding a steamy plate of girl on girl porn in front of them, standing back, eyebrows raised and fingers twiddling with anticipation, hoping, just praying that they'll take the bait.

Meanwhile, your wife is ho hum. Sounds interesting, I guess, but she has to be Angelina Jolie and I have to be in the mood and she can't have bigger boobs than I do and it has to be on a leap year. Can you please pass the salt? Then she forgets it was ever mentioned while your heart skips a beat every time she speaks to another woman at the supermarket. Do women even realize the power they have? Do they have any idea that they've erased each and every other thought from your minds by not throwing a lamp at you and screaming "pervert!" at the mere suggestion of such a thing?

The good news is she's not opposed to it. The bad news is her list is short and contains people you'll have to become a movie start to meet. Not a very good sign if you ask me. If she's game, though, taking her to swingers clubs is a great idea. I just googled "swingers clubs NY" and found pages of possibilities for you. There are also a slew of dating sites if you google "swingers". However you choose to go about it, I suggest that you let her lead the way, pick the woman and decide where you can and can not stick it (which you seem to be very open to). When it comes to convincing someone to do something, there's only so far you can go before you become an irritant. So make some suggestions, calmly call her attention to the possibility when it arises and then leave it alone. You want to get your threesome, but you don't want to ruin your twosome trying.

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as blog kning said you need to be prepared for the aftermath things can sometimes change. sometimes for the better and often times for the worse. me and my hubby do threesomes about once every two months he has a fetish for stuff like that and i am just kind of ok with it. my advise dont do friends. the woman will usually always think that you want to cheat on her with the friend. keep some sexual acts that you and your wife are really into together out of it. like for example i dont let the other women go down on him and he doesnt go down on other women. that is our thing and i like to keep it that way. find a person you are both attracted to and can grow to trust. the hot slut next door might sound like a good idea but it can be disasterous. make sure the person you find knows that you dont have an open relationship and that you are doing this together and that is how it will stay. make sure to keep it fair. if your wife tells you that she is interested in having a threesome with another guy after the ffm experiance then by all means do it. most men who want threesomes are only interested in it if they can only do two women at the same time. DONT BE THAT GUY. remember that not only is she fulfilling a fantasy for you but that you need to fulfil them for her. dont pressure her. the surest way to make her think that you want to cheat is to bring it up non stop. it takes time to build up the level of trust it takes to do these things. (trust me i am still working through trust issues) after the experiance make sure that you show her that you are still interested in just having sex with her. touch her fondle her when she is making dinner. tell her how much you desire her and try to have sex as much as possible with out another person being there. that is the surest way to get her over the afterthought gitters and to make any doubts about your attraction to her subside. other than that just remember that this is something that both parties have to be emotionally prepared for. alot of men will tell you to be prepared to watch alot and that is not always the case in fact in those cases most times that is the womans way of subconciously trying to get her man uninterested in it because she is not the type of person that is able to handel it. keep it on a time line. like i said me and my hubby only do it like once every two months. (my rule) so that you have plenty of time to react and recover from the experiance. these are things that i found help us. my husband would like to do it more often but marriage is compromise and we found that this is a good one. make sure to find other things you like to do sexually with just your partner as well. like role play or explorative. as for swinger clubs well we tried that rout and it didnt really work out too well for us. we are both young in our twenties and alot of the people there were much older couples (40's to 50's) wanting to either spice it up or cheat. so good luck on that end. i hope this has been helpful.

me sexy naughty wifey, him studly dirty boy.... we're married, he knew i was bi from the start, and it was just a matter of time before the desire grew so strong for both of us that we went prowling together and had our first menage a trois. MY ADVICE: START BY WATCHING AND TALKING ABOUT REAL LIVE GIRLS, IF THE ACTUAL NECESSARY PASSION IS THERE, THIS WILL BE YOUR LAUNCHING PAD. THE MORE SHE FEELS COMFORTABLE IN SHARING HER FANTASIES WITH YOU, THE HOTTER SHE WILL FIND THE POSSIBILITIES. TAKE A TOTAL GUY APPROACH WITH THE OTHER WOMAN.... SHE IS NOT TO BE PART OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP, SHE IS JUST A HOT PIECE, A FLAVOR OF THE WEEK. MAKE YOUR LEADING LADY FEEL LIKE A WICKED QUEEN WHO CONTROLS THE LUST OF OTHER WOMEN AND GIVES PLEASURE AS SHE SEES FIT. THIS CONFIDENCE IS KEY IN HER (AND YOUR) SATISFACTION.
oh yeah: WHEN YOU DO FIND YOURSELF IN A REAL THREESOME SITUATION, LET THE GIRLS WARM UP AND EXPLORE EACH OTHER FIRST FOR AS LONG AS THEY LIKE, AND THEY WILL SOON COME AFTER YOU!!!

threesome is every guy's fantasy. however, it really isn't all that its cracked up to be, guys seem to take a more of a observer role in the process. WARNING : if you do this with your gf / wife, be prepared for the aftermath. things will change.