What is beauty? Who decides? For a lot of us, beauty is defined by heavily retouched photos of 20-somethings (or younger) who’ve been made-up and dressed by professionals.

Unattainable.

Of course, this doesn’t stop us from beating ourselves up for not being it or having it. Or from resenting those who we perceive do have it. And these “beauties,” despite all our admiration and resentment. are often totally focused on what’s wrong with their bodies, what still needs work.

Just like us.

We tell ourselves that if we could just be the perfect weight, then we would be beautiful, and then—when we are at our “goal weight”—we find problems with our features or our wrinkles or that certain parts aren’t big enough or small enough. This needs lifting, that needs stretching.

We’ll never be good enough.

What would be good enough? How would you even know if you ever reached “beautiful?” Would you depend on someone else to tell you? And who would that be? Who decides what beauty is for you? The media? The ad business? The fashion industry? The opposite sex? Your parents? Siblings? Your “competition?”

How about deciding for yourself? And how about making that definition real and attainable? Make a list of what YOU find beautiful. Be open to being surprised and not putting all your focus on what's external. Have you ever met a “beautiful” woman who was totally unattractive? Have you met a woman who ought to be normal looking and because of who she is, is positively stunning?

Decide to take back the word and meaning of beauty and make it your own. Then step into it and become that unique expression of beauty that no one can do as well as you.