Receive my Gohonzon on Nov. 9, 2007

I want to commit myself to something meaningful and profound. There's a hole inside. For years, I've tried filling it with various means. I'm hoping that my practice of Nichiren Buddhism will heal me from the inside-out so that my life will be its strongest, most brilliant, and happiest.

With the Gohonzon as my object of devotion, I will recite two chapters of the Lotus Sutra and chant twice a day, morning and night. Daily devotion to life's supreme condition, pure potentiality, and my inherent Buddha nature will enable me to withstand the changing winds of life.

To be resolute and unwavering of spirit and mind is my goal. No matter what happens, no matter how bad it may seem, connecting to the Gohonzon, which signifies the life of the Buddha, will remind me of the treasure trove and reserves of strength that lie within me.

The Gohonzon is the visual representation of my enlightened Buddha nature: perfect, flawless and miraculous. It's not something outside of me that I worship, but something inside of me that I revere. Chanting=understanding=enlightenment. I want to live my life as an enlightened being because anything else for me is not enough.

This Friday and every Kosen-Rufu is a huge event for Nichiren Buddhists. Others will receive their Gohonzon where they will practically jump out of their skin. I don't know what I'll do or if I'll even make it there. I'm going through a lot of turmoil right now as though the old me is fighting what the new me has to do... for a better me.

Am I ready to do anything, other than brush my teeth, twice a day? Do I dare to be that responsible for my life condition? Can I do anything, really anything, if I assume such responsibility while aligning myself to mystic laws? It's all too f$*#ing much right now.