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Ready to Fly
In coaching we often stress how important it is to get to the “who” of the client. When we explore and uncover who a person truly is at their core, shifts occur and awareness is created. I am going to be blatantly honest and share that I have “stuffed” part of my “who”, stuffed it in a major way. To put it simply, I’ve been like a bird caught in an oil spill; wings wanting to fly, but buried beneath too much shit to do so.
I have been afraid to let my vulnerable side come out and play fully. Why? Because I didn’t want to be seen as flawed; I didn’t want my clients, potential clients, and friends to think of me as weak or incapable of being a good coach and friend. (So much for walking my own walk, right?)
So I am coming clean; cleaning the shit off my wings.
In doing so, I first need to address the question, “Who Is Pam REALLY?”
Pam is a woman. She is a strong woman who has been through some tough stuff in her lifetime (i.e. abuse, miscarriage, divorce). She is a woman who has made some crappy decisions, but is doing her best to learn from those decisions. She is a woman who has fears; fear of failing, fear of being rejected, fear of being alone, and sometimes fear of success (to name a few). She is a fighter; she fights herself way too much, but she also fights for what’s right. She is a woman who can be selfish and a bit of a jackass sometimes, especially when she is afraid or angry. (FACTOID: Anger is just fear turned outward. Thanks, Amy for the cool reminder!) She is a woman with heart and lots of love to give. She is not perfect, but has a bad habit of trying to be. She sometimes gives her power away too easily to others. She is a giving human being. She sometimes hides her pain behind a positive exterior. She is determined and not a quitter. And when she gets out of her own way, she is a damn good friend and a fine coach.
So here is to being real (and a bit scared right now about putting this out there - thanks Rob for the challenge); to understanding that by being real and being vulnerable I can actually be a better me, a better friend, and a better coach. Stay tuned as this woman continues to clean the shit off her wings so she can truly soar. Who's with me and ready to fly?
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Very brave of you to take this first step. I applaud your candor and encourage you to write more in this vein. Yes, it is scary and kinda freaky to reveal all to the web audience. But you are also purging yourself of a burden of stifled emotion. Pour it forth, Pam. Your PeopleJam community is here to support you.
Love,
RT
...soon. :) Thank you so much, Rob. I appreciate your support and response.
It feels good (eventhough taking the leap was scary) to share my vulnerable side.
Rob, thanks to you, Matt, and the entire PJ team for creating this space.
"Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
'Cause I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)" -The Who
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Last week I said that I was ready to clear the shit and prepare my wings for flight. (I truly do want to soar unencumbered.) To begin the process I pulled out my trusty journal and wrote down the following question, “Who do I want to be for me?” I forced myself to not edit my list, but just to write; to capture whatever word popped into my head. (Big task for someone who has to try to be perfect!) Guess what? The words began to flow and I came up with a decent list of descriptors; fun, a person of integrity, loving, daring, real, etc.
I couldn’t stop there. No way! I took it a step farther and using the list I wrote the question, “What do I need to do to be *descriptor*?” For each descriptor I came up with at least two actions that I CONSISTENTLY need to take (to be who I need to be for me). For example;
“What do I need to do to be authentic and real?”
1) Feel my feelings rather than resist them or stuff them.
2) Speak my truth.
3) Worry less about what others think of me and more of what I think of me.
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The Outcome
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What’s amazing, along with some clarity came a feeling of lightness; a real surge of energy. I walked through this week with a keener sense of awareness and a greater appreciation for everything in my life. What’s cool; business opportunities presented themselves.
Coincidence? I think not.
So here’s your challenge if you choose to accept it…
Who do YOU need to be for you? Make a list and please don’t check it twice, just write. I dare ya!
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