Q & A: Should I surprise my fiancé with a vibrator on our honeymoon?

Posted: Mar 12th

By: Jen Sincero User is an Expert

(see more of Jen Sincero's blogs)

Tags: honeymoon, Jen Sincero, relationship, sex, sex toys, Commitment, Marriage

Dear Jen,

I want to know if you would recommend bringing a small vibrator on my honeymoon. My fiancé and I haven't had sex in quite a while because we decided to hold off until after the wedding. She comes from a fairly conservative family, and sex was never really a topic of discussion. I've brought up the possibility of trying a vibrator before, but have never gotten a definitive answer. I think she would like it, and I'm sure it would help to increase her pleasure, and that's really what I care most about. Do you think it would be a good idea to bring one as a surprise, or wait until we've been married a while to bring it up again?

- Good Vibe/Bad Vibe

Dear Vibe,

There are certain situations where a sexy surprise might backfire - picture, for example, leaping out from behind a bush, naked, with a hard-on, as your weary fiancé returns home from work with a raging headache. Or pulling your hands away from her eyes to reveal the new grappling hooks swinging from the ceiling above your bed - ta dah!

Then there are the foolproof surprises, the romantic dinners for two, the diamond bracelet slipped beneath her pillow, the hours of unreciprocated oral sex. So where does a small vibrator fit into all this? Depends on who's doing the vibing.

In your case, we're talking about two people who've attempted to re-virginate themselves, and who can't really speak in full sentences about sex toys, so I'd say it fits in bed, at home, after the honeymoon and maybe even after a couple bottles of wine.

Because I get the feeling that you want your honeymoon to be as picture-perfect as the big day itself, with only the purest, fluffiest, air-brushiest memories possible. Bringing along something she's clearly uncomfortable with is a loose cannon that could easily put a stain on your lilly white day.

Either that, or it will wake up her inner whore and it'll be the hottest night of your life. Who knows? Your choice comes down to how badly you want everything to go smoothly - are you willing to take a risk on this magical day, the one you've voluntarily suffered months'-worth of blueballs for, or would you rather play it safe?

Ideally, I'd love to see you whip out the vibrator before the wedding. It's rill important to make sure the person you're going to stay with till death do you part is able to properly peel your banana, so even though I find your abstinence romantic (sort of...actually, not really), it worries me.

What if she finds your wee vibe the lowest form of perversion, second only to deviating from the missionary position or doing it with the lights on? That's some crucial information you'll want to have before you take a vow to forsake all others.

Add To: