Prevent Your Career's and Life's Greatest Tragedy

A calamity is not avoidable. A tragedy is.

To me, the greatest tragedy in my career - or my life - would be to get to the end of either and realize that:

• It was mediocre at best
• It didn't have to be that way
• Nobody did it to me: I did it to myself
• It's too late to turn it around

The most important thing is to realize that all of these tragedies are avoidable, and that your success and happiness are up to you. You can start right now by stopping Self-Defeating Behaviors and replacing them with Success Developing Behaviors.

Stopping Self-Defeating Behaviors

A self-defeating behavior is just another way of saying that you're getting in your own way. Some classic examples are:

• Procrastinating
• Saying "Yes" when you need to say "No"
• Getting angry and making things worse
• Talking more than you listen

The reason most people do these things is that it helps them cope with stress and makes them feel better for the moment. But every time you engage in a Self-Defeating Behavior, you have to clean up the mess later and take on the much longer task of regaining the credibility and respect from others - and yourself - that you've lost.

Starting Success Developing Behaviors

To avoid pain, shame and tragedy in the future, you need to catch yourself before you engage in a Self-Defeating Behavior and instead replace it with a Success Developing Behavior. One of the best tools that I've found for doing this is called the "Never Again Tool". Here's how it works:

When you are laying face down in the negative consequence of a previous Self-Defeating Behavior, instead of blaming others, beating up on yourself, or making an excuse, take out an index card and write down what you will never again do:

"If I had this to do over again, what I would do differently is _____________, because if I did that it would result in ______________, which would allow me avoid ________________."

After you've filled out the card, put it in your wallet or purse. Then someday - perhaps sooner than you think - you'll be stressed out and need to pull the card out and follow your own advice before you engage in another Self-Defeating Behavior.

Tragedies are avoidable, so always remember that you are in control of your reaction to your problems. You can create your own Success Developing Behaviors. I know you can do it.

Good luck!

Catch Dr. Mark's Free TeleForum, "Prevent Your Career's Greatest Tragedy" on Wednesday, June 25 at 9 AM PST/12 Noon EST by going to:

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