Parenting in the new millennium means having at least a working knowledge of the latest, coolest technology.  If you're parenting a tween or teenager, you're probably qualified to teach a small community course in text messaging, but what do you know about social networking sites like Facebook?  In all likelihood, your child not only knows about Facebook, but already has an account, has uploaded photos and other personal information, and uses it daily to keep up with friends.  Is this the perfect opportunity to snoop on your kids and see what they've been up to?  Probably not.  Here's a brief overview of Facebook and some do's and don'ts for parents.

Facebook was created in 2004 by a Harvard student as a way for college students to communicate with each other.  Two years later, it became open to everyone over 13 with an email address.  With over 100 million users, the fastest growing demographic is 25 years old and older.

So what exactly can you do on Facebook?  Facebook is where you connect and share your life (through messages, photos and videos) with friends and loved ones.  Facebook is now also used in professional settings, as a way to keep up with employees or disseminate information.  Because of its huge popularity, you are certain to know at least one other person on Facebook.  Many people use it to reconnect with old classmates, or co-workers.  Some people use it to find new friends who share the same hobbies or interests.  It's a very user friendly site that you can access anywhere with an internet connection.  It is easy to set up a profile, and it's easy to communicate exactly who you are through the various fun applications available.

More parents are signing up every day, but to mixed reviews.  Many kids cringe at the idea of "friending" a parent, and have formed various support communities on Facebook to lament this latest trend.  If your kid is younger than 21, friending a parent on Facebook is likely to lower his or her coolness quotient.  You effectively become Big Brother, and your child's friends will probably censor their messages and photos, for fear of being watched and judged.  This is the internal battle going on in your child's mind when a seemingly innocuous friend request from mom or dad pops up in the bottom of the screen.  Choose parents = risk being alienated by peers; ignore parents = risk getting grounded.

What’s a parent to do?

Do have an open relationship with your child.  The worst possible thing you can do is surprise attack your child with the above dilemma.  Talk to your child about Facebook before signing up.  Ask them how they'd feel about being your friend.  Set up boundaries, like not writing on their wall (a bulletin board of sorts) which could potentially cause embarassment.  Being on Facebook isn't going to magically change your relationship with your child.

Do ask your child to help you set up your Facebook account.  This could be a bonding time for you.  It's generally true that the younger the child, the more they know about technology.  Not only will the help benefit you, it may be an entrance into becoming a friend on your child's network. 

Don't get your feelings hurt by rejection.  If your child says they don't feel comfortable friending you because it's uncool, then try to be brave.  It's not the end of the world.  If you trust your child, allow them some privacy.  Some children feel like having a parent on Facebook is like having a parent listening to your phone calls.  It's just uncomfortable.  Some children don't mind at all (well, maybe a little bit).  The rejection may sting, but you can connect with your child in other ways.

Do understand privacy restrictions.  In other words, if your child did friend you, don't automatically think you now know everything there is to know.  Facebook allows users to restrict certain photos or messages to a select group of people.  So, you may be friends with your child, but you may not see all the photos he or she has uploaded, and you may not be able to read all the wild and crazy messages.

Do connect with your friends.  After you're done trying to snoop on your child, try to connect with your friends.  Facebook has a highly developed search engine where you can locate long-lost friends by name and interest or school or location.   Warning: it's highly addictive.  You will find yourself trying to remember the name of your 5th grade pal, and it will be exhilarating when they accept your "friends" request.  Remember that Facebook should be a social networking site for you.

Don't friend your child's friends.  This is a big no-no.  It's considered creepy.  Friending your child's friends is like intentionally calling them on the phone just to chat.  A lot of parents think they're being covert by snooping on their children's friends.  Doesn't work.  Kids are smarter than that, and privacy restrictions still apply.  Not to mention, the internal battle is stronger.  Accept friends' parents = risk being "that guy"; ignore friends' parents = risk them telling your parents.

Do monitor young children's internet activity.  This applies across the board, and not just to Facebook.  For children, especially tweens, it's always best to have a computer in a common living area where you can casually monitor their internet activity.  They may be able to lock you out from knowing all the activity on Facebook, but you can always look over their shoulder when they are in plain view.

Facebook is a wonderful social site that can benefit you and your child, but don't expect for it to improve your relationship, or provide insight into the elusive mind of the teenager.  Use Facebook as a way to connect with your friends, but as for connecting with your child, save that for the dinner table.  We all know parents can't be friends.