When your children tell you about a situation that has clearly upset, scared, angered, or hurt them, resist the temptation to reassure them. Instead, give them a word for what they're feeling by saying: "That must have scared/angered/hurt you, didn't it?" If they agree, then calmly ask them: "How scared/angry/upset, etc. did you feel?" They may only say, "Really bad" or "Very" but in that moment of saying it to you, they will feel safe, less alone, and relieved, and they may even cry. This is a great way of establishing a sense of comfort and calmness in your children after which they will be more open to suggestions and advice.

This exercise will help your children develop the ability to comfort and calm themselves when they are older and enable them to persevere through rough times.

NEXT: Parenting 103 - Patience