Recently I celebrated a birthday. I celebrated with both my adoptive family and my birth family. I feel like an outsider who has been given access to the inside, in both families.

My adoptive family has always included me as one of their own. I am one of 3 girls who were adopted; the 3 boys are my parents' biological children. Never was there an occasion where my adoptive family said or did anything to make me feel like I wasn't one of them, or like I wasn't included. Still, part of me feels like an outsider. I'm very different from everyone in my family, from physical appearance to who I am inside.

My birth family now includes me as one of their own. I reunited with my birth mother and subsequently my birth father over 15 years ago. When my birth father died a few years ago, my birth mom had the courage to include my name -- "Kara" -- in his obituary as someone special to him. This led to questions in my birth family that exposed a family secret: my existence. Since then, my extended birth family has welcomed me to many family gatherings, and filled a void that I had always felt. Still, while I feel a connection and have many similarities within my birth family, there is much I don't know about them, their history, and what it would have been like to grow up within the family.

These reflections cause me to consider other perspectives. Instead of being an outsider on the inside, what if I looked at myself from the outside-in? What if I started from the inside-out?

I see how I am a product of nature and nurture, probably more profoundly than other who aren't adopted. I can embrace this diversity and complexity in myself, which caused me to become the woman I am, helped steer me towards my chosen career, and led me on my life's path. A path travelled from the outside-in.

My journey inside led me to greater awareness and acceptance of myself, more than anyone on the outside can ever give me. I see how I choose my friends carefully, and let only a select few into my inner circle. I realized that this way of being works for me, as I celebrated my birthday with a few close friends and felt more at home, and comfortable in my own skin -- happy from the inside-out.