For Men Only:

Say to your partner, "Have I ever made you feel that you were not worth listening to?" (If you've been together less than five years, their hurt at your having done this will be stronger than their anger; if you've been together more than five years, their anger will be stronger than their hurt.) Regardless of their emotional reaction, add: "Just because I don't know how to listen in the right way without either trying to minimize what you're saying or fix things doesn't mean that you're not worth listening to. And don't you let anyone, including me, make you feel that way. AND I AM SORRY."

When you proactively empathize with a person about something they are legitimately critical towards you about, you bypass your becoming defensive had they been the one to point it out to you, you relieve tension and ease anger they're feeling towards you, they will lower their walls and they will feel grateful to you.