My goal is to scream less, whisper more and let them, not me, take responsibility for themselves.

Posted by Morah on December 30, 2007 7:17 PM PST

Recommend this? YES NO

My kids spend a LOT of time, sniping, arguing, fighting, and blaming each other for the consequences, namely me doing a lot of screaming. As a result, I am frustrated, they are no closer to being responsible for themselves, and I am slowly going insane. I need to be calmer, less stressed, and more in control of myself. The kids need to learn to get along and they need to learn responsibility for themselves. We also need to learn better communication skills than screaming. I need to learn not to scream.

How do I counter children bent on quashing my efforts to bring calm and serenity to our lives? How do I stay calm in a sea of disaster?

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2 Comments

and I'll keep saying it whenever it's needed..."The Art of Non-violent Communication." Get it and read it aloud to your kids, twice a week, then have a discussion about it.

Once you're able to express how you really feel without a negative charge, then there's no need to scream, accuse, or fight.

Great goal, let me know what you think.

Posted by Amanda on January 1, 2008 2:55 PM PST

While it may seem impossible to become relaxed in a chaotic environment, it is really the best thing you can do. Find something to do to help you center yourself-- that may be taking 5 deep breathes in the midst of confusion, it may be snapping a rubber band around your wrist to shock your system and remind you of your goal, it may be calling a 5 min Time Out. Whichever you choose, it is up to you to show your kids how to act responsible and calm. They WILL follow your lead.

This may not be easy, but it IS THE best gift you can give to your family. Teaching them how to communicate with others in a healthy way is priceless.

I grew up in a screaming household. Now
beth |community coordinator | life coach |seeker of knowledge|