Without a long preamble, here's the gist of my story. My third week in LA, I finally went out to "enjoy myself." My roommate's friend was visiting from DC and I invited him to join me on a walk to the Promenade.

We ended up at a typical, over-priced sidewalk Italian place. I had a salad and several Peroni's and then we went shopping. We went to Fresh (the siren song of bath products) and I was hooked.

The Fresh dealer presented a mind blowingly fragrant (mind-blowing after 5 Peroni's) scented candle and I said, "I'll take it." She rang it up and wrapped it. When I saw the Visa bill, she wanted me to sign, I nearly had an aneurysm.

The candle was nearly $56 ($49.95 plus tax). I said, "Pardon me, how much are you charging for wax?" "It's soy and doesn't blacken the votive." "I don't care. It's still wax and will eventually disappear. I can go to Marshall's and buy a soy candle for $5."

"Do you want to exchange it?" "No, I want you to take it off my card." "I'm sorry, Miss, Fresh doesn't refund, only merchandise credits within 14 days of purchase." Fine. I should have asked the price, but nevertheless, I was incensed over a scented piece of wax.

I still have the candle. My roommate asked when I'm going to light it. I always reply, "For $50 of wax, I'm saving this for my wedding night or my funeral, whichever comes first. At this point, Im betting on my funeral. At least it will be a fragrant send-off. It's fitting. The other most ridiculously over priced purchase I've ever made is a carry-on bag from Bally's of Switzerland. When I get cremated, I'll have my ashes stored in the bag and then have them tuck the candle in there with me when they bury me at sea.

Ain't romance grand?

Don't go shopping when you're tipsy.