After many years working for bosses and companies with no clue how to treat people, I developed this list of do's and don'ts for successful teams interactions.

1. DO leave assumptions and pre-conceived ideas about your team at the door. Come with an open mind. DON’T assume anything – for example, it’s easy to make assumptions such as “they already know that”; “he’s mad about the change”; “the team is going to be really unhappy”; “she’s gotta be looking for a job”; “they know their jobs are safe”… the list goes on – But if you consistently question those assumptions, it will be much easier to keep an open mind and to find out what’s really happening – and you’ll enable your team to do the same.
DO ask open-ended questions to help you understand each team member’s view of reality - it may be very different from yours. Sample open ended questions include “Tell me about how your team has operated up to now, and what has worked well?” or “What is something that you like about your former team’s process that you are afraid will change as we merge?”
DON’T build any of your ideas on hearsay, gossip, or innuendo. Do not rely on another’s opinion, or allow someone else to influence you by (for example) saying “Oh, forget about getting so-and-so to work with us. He’s never on board.” As a leader, it’s important to model these behaviors to the team – it’s critical to building trust. If you come to the team having already decided about anyone or everyone, you’ve already lost (and so have they).

2. DO give out as much information as you can to the team, even if you think it’s very basic. DON’T assume that new team members know anything about you, your company or department, your management team, or your culture. Nothing destroys a budding team relationship faster than the perception that there are secrets or that information is being used as a power chip. For example, if you are merging team members from another company or department, offer them an organizational chart (with names) and some information about the management team of their new organization. Tell your new team about yourself and your own career path. Simple, yes, but so often overlooked.
In a merger or consolidation scenario, if you can offer assurances about people keeping their jobs, do it. If you cannot offer such assurances, be as honest as you can about the reasons and the timeline. The worst approach is to say absolutely nothing, as the rumor mill will speculate that you have something to hide – a real trust-buster.

3. DO collect as many facts and points of view as you practically can, and use those to contribute to your plan for getting the work done. DON’T jump to a resolution or a plan of action before getting as much input from the team (and other stakeholders) as possible. Once you give a time line for the next communication, make sure you follow it, or go back to the team and renegotiate. If you’ve built trust with your team and invited their participation, you’ll get it, and it saves expensive mistakes later.

4. DO circle back, after a decision is made, to the people who contributed ideas, facts, or suggestions to the process, thank them, and let them know the outcome. Most people don’t care if their idea or suggestion made it into the plan, as long as they feel it was considered in the process. DON’T take team members’ suggestions and ideas and then let them fall into a black hole (from their point of view). Worse, don’t take credit for an idea without attributing it to the source (we really don’t need to talk about this one, do we?).

5. DO establish the mission, direction, and strategy of the team with your team, and get agreement from the whole team on the action plan. Check in frequently to confirm that the team is on track, ask if there have been material changes that require renegotiation, and remind everyone about the agreed upon plan. DON’T get so busy that you do this once and never talk about it again. Establish communication links so that team members know how to reach you and when to reach you to keep the flow of coordination, action and input clear.

6. DO seek genuine input and honest communication from all team members, even when it requires more time. Head nodding in a meeting doesn’t count, especially in a culture where people are afraid to stand out from the crowd. For example, some teams appoint a liaison to circle back to each team member confidentially after meetings, and then present the input of the whole team (without naming names), to ensure that no one is bullied or pressured to go along in a group setting, and to give quieter team members a chance to speak up safely.

All those horrible experiences in various work settings happened for a reason - it led me to my path - this is really my passion, and will define the next phase of my career. I love connecting with people, and teaching others about what I've learned to make their work relationships better.