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To make sure my boundaries meet my current station in life.
I want to do this because, well, Brenda's post on boundaries really got me thinking about my own boundary difficulties. I love to see people soar and so I frequently set my own boundaries aside or pretend that they are there -- until they are violated. The result is that I feel overwhelmed, burdened, sometimes even angry (usually at myself) and fearful that I will get stuck in a pattern that doesn't work for me. I then wind up transitioning my practice as I evaluate the kinds of interactions I want to have. I think choice is good, but I don't believe I need an overhaul everytime I realize my boundaries are weak. I just need to reinforce or establish better loving boundaries.
I'd love the communities thoughts, opinions and personal experiences regarding how you handle keeping your boundaries current in your work.
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I've taken personality tests that always land me right in the middle of extrovert/introvert. It makes sense because as long as I can remember, I've been the actor/writer.
It's a tough mix to balance because people get used to seeing me one way (i.e intense verve) that they don't quite know what to make of the quiet, hermetic side that prefers to simply observe at times.
Silence tends to discombobulate most people and when you're an extremist, like I am, boundaries become crucial.
Setting boundaries with myself in relation to others works very well and when those boundaries aren't respected I start erasing numbers from my cellphone.
The key to life is balance and feeling good is the most precise indicator.
If it's making me second guess myself, get neurotic, or feel "stuck," I communicate immediately and take action.
Create. Destroy. Create. Destroy. That's the only pattern to life, no? Boundaries are ever-changing.
Teri,
Great goal! Do you have a set policies & procedures document that you use with clients that states the boudaries in place for working together? Can you also give a story or example of where you'd had to transition your practice based on having one of your boundaries stepped over?An example may be more helpful to provide context.
Thanks,
Brenda